Next Time I'll Wear An Adult Diaper

I peed my pants in fourth grade.
And if you played 4-square in elementary school, you’ll understand why.
I was playing on one of the coveted 4-squares with some of the top players in the grade. And I really needed to pee. But I had brought my A-game and was
squarin’ it up,
if you know what I mean.
I really, really needed to pee.
I was even doing the pee-pee dance to try to hold it in. I even had other players ask, appalled, if I wanted to take a break and go into the bathroom. “No, I’m okay.” I said as I danced. I didn’t want to miss out on the game, especially as I worked my way up from
D-square to
C-square to
B-square and finally to
A-square.
I was the ruler of the 4-square!
I had dominated the game to the point of being queen of the square.
That is, until I peed and peed and peed my pants. I was wearing these light pink pants in some light nylon-type fabric (parachute-type material?), so the pee spread quickly through the fabric from my crotch down to my socks and into my L.A. Gear knock-offs. The pee cascaded so freely from me that there was no stopping the dam once it’d been compromised (help me out here, Joel, with explaining the engineering principles of a compromised dam) and my classmates stood aghast as one of them incredulously exclaimed, “She’s peeing her pants!!”
I was in A-square and I wasn’t ready to give it up. I kind of stood there, hopping from one foot to the other trying to decide whether to stay there and play the game out (did I mention I was in A-square?) or go to the bathroom like any sane child would. One of them finally offered, “Why don’t you go into the bathroom and…clean yourself ?” I reluctantly acquiesced.
Here’s the best part: I was soaked. SOAKED! And do you know what I did? I stayed at school for the rest of the day sitting in my pee.
I went to class and sat in my desk (not to get up until the school-is-dismissed bell rang) amid disgusted looks from my classmates and muffled cries of horror at the smell.
Yes sir! I was a socially well-adjusted child which helps explain my winning personality today!

So, that was when I was ten.
And this week I lived to experience it all over again. How, you ask?

(Wow. How did I NOT get picked to go the Olympics?!)

I went to Jump On It for Lincoln’s birthday. It’s a place where there’s about 50 trampolines all smashed together which = heaven for me.

(Fun, no?)

The trampolines were all so bouncy! Growing up I bet I spent more hours outside on my trampoline than I did inside sleeping at night.

I loved reliving all my aerials, 1 1/2 back flips, suicides, oreos, and round-off back handsprings. But, to put it discreetly, birthing 4 children has not been all roses, people. I had a hard time maintaining bladder control and I had to end my jumping session a little early due to…well, I'll let your imagination fill in (or lose control of) the rest. (I think Joel thought he was a gazelle.)

You okay? Sorry if I lost some friends in admitting that on my blog.

Anyway, here’s a couple photos from Lincoln’s birthday, including the special cake he requested. He specifically asked for a cake that said STAR WARS THE CLONE WARS.

(Incredible art work!)

And he wanted the cake to be strawberry and blueberry flavored. I went to a bit of trouble trying to fill that tall order and then he didn’t eat even ONE PIECE of it. He doesn’t like cake, even strawberry and blueberry flavored cake. (Thanks, son. I’m glad I spent all that time on it so that you could NOT EAT IT.)

(Note new homemade Jedi robe, homemade Jedi tunic, and solid gold soccer medal)