Estrasasanda

Skeletor Has Nice Abs

2011-09-26T14:20:00.000-07:00

But, you won't find any pictures of his abs here.

Just his head in a RAINBOW of colors.

Today was a school disctrict-wide furlough day.

Good moms all over Provo took their kids on a fall adventure and then out for ice cream cones.

Me? I let mine watch t.v. and play with the neighbors while I beaded it up.

I went to the Gem Faire on Saturday, and boy howdy, I bought me some beads!
I spent $9.00 and made two necklaces, a bracelet and fifteen pairs of earrings.

You likey? Pick a pair, and I'll give them to you. I've done it before, people. I'll do it again.

I'll give preferential treatment to my relatives, but I think there's plenty to go around, friends.

As far as I can tell, there are four people who check this blog on a regular basis.

Isn't this model a thing of beauty? This picture is to help give you a frame of reference for size.

A note on quality: Only the cruddiest of materials were involved here. I think the beads are plastic, no silver was harmed in the making of these pieces, and the pins are already tarnishing.

Suddenly FREE isn't sounding so amazing, is it?

Oh my heck, these lemon ones and these blue ones are so flipping cute!

Rainbows!

Leave a comment suggesting which pair (or bracelet) you prefer and your best joke.

A New Day. I Mean Door.

2011-08-01T14:02:00.000-07:00

Did you know I don't like my door? It's got one of those oval windows in it with fancy glass in it. Also, I hate pink brick against a light gray background. If this is the color scheme you picked for your new house, I'm sorry that I hate it.
Maybe I've mentioned to you that the color scheme in my house is rainbow. So I knew I wanted a blue door.

Here's what I painted it to look like. I let Lincoln pick out the color. I figured that way, if it looked ridiculous, I could just tell everyone that my son picked it out, absolving me of responsibility.

Then, I let the kids help me paint it. If there were mistakes (and how!), I could blame it on my kids. That's called 2nd-generation crafting, folks!

After I painted and hung the door, it stuck to the inside of the door frame. That was fun and unembarrassing when one of Joel's work superiors dropped Joel off and heard the ripping sound of our door opening. (Allow 24 hours to dry, people!) Also, the pink brick looked much worse next to a blue door and I knew my only option was to paint the brick white. I imagined that doing a sponge "treatment" would be easy and would look professional. It was easy. It only took an hour, but in person it looked like a piece of crap. Gray grout plus white paint = ugly, even for Harbor Park. So I had to spend at least five hours putting on 2 coats of primer. Most people use primer before they paint, but I like to use it as paint. I got real sick of painting that brick and I'm not in the mood to put flat white paint over flat white primer. Redundant!

Then, I bought a wicker chair at Saver's ($20! Where's the thrift in that?!) and spray painted it red. Then I made a pillow from some fabric handed down from Nadine. Welcome to 2011, Nadine.

I also bought a new doorbell. Joel just shakes his head at this, because our ugly, plastic, dingy doorbell still worked. But this one is cute. Now, who thinks they can sweet-talk Joel out of the big "decorative" ugly rocks in my flowerbed?

A Craft Good Enough to Bring a Blogger Out of Retirement

2011-03-07T06:56:00.000-08:00

Have you seen my ugly kitchen stools?
Two were bought from a yard sale a bajillion years ago and the other three were given to me by my sister.
I hate them, but the money to buy new stools still eludes me and I hate the thought of dropping $60 - $150 per stool for something that will get all nasty from my kids anyway. Have you seen how often I clean?
I copied a craft idea from Martha Stewart.

Step 1: Sand finish off tops of stools with your son. Tell him it might count for some cub scouts thing (it won't, apparently). When you can't get the stubborn finish off one of the stools, tell your husband about it and let him sand it for a full hour while you set up the trampoline in the backyard with your kids. (When you set the trampoline up wrong, call him back to help you with that. When he gives you a rubber mallet to hammer the legs onto the frame, don't worry if your whacking and smacking breaks the mallet several times over.)
Step 2: Apply two coats of cheap acrylic white craft paint.
Step 3: Use scrapbooking double-sided tape that comes out of those little roller applicator thingies and apply the stencils you jimmy-rigged to the top of each stool. Don't expect the tape to come off with the stencil even though it's advertised as "re-positionable."
Step 4: Apply two coats of cute, obnoxious-colored acrylic paint (don't follow Martha's lead here, she picked boring colors) quickly. REMOVE the stencils as soon as you've applied good coverage. If you wait for the paint to dry you will permanently adhere your stencil to the stool. Promise.

Step 5: Touch-up paint where necessary. Then add two coats of clear polyurethane sealer without regard to between-coats drying times.
Step 6: Set stools in garage to dry for 24 hours, hoping the fumes will asphyxiate the cat.
Step 7: Enjoy, knowing full well that they're going to get grody and nasty in no time.

The Big Finale

2010-06-15T16:57:00.000-07:00

Big 'n Huge

2010-06-14T16:27:00.000-07:00

Shh! This birthday picture was taken nowhere near his birthday, but that's all he's getting for his b-day picture estrasasanda.

When he was a kid he gave himself the nickname Big 'n Huge, and it still pretty much fits. He takes piano lessons and is loving all his cub scouts activities. He's an ace in school and so obedient. Joel and I are so glad he's the oldest because he often sets a great example for the rest of 'em.You know how there's some quote about how you should never make fun of your spouse or people in your family? I've decided it doesn't apply to me. And I attribute my intended wickedness to my in-laws, who for years have kept multiple photo albums of ill-looking photos of their near and dear ones. So, here's one of Lincoln to add to the mix:

Bow to your Sensai!

2010-06-12T16:14:00.000-07:00

This guy is seven today! Happy birthday, dude!He's a yellow belt in karate now, so you know I can't resist daily Rex Kwon Do jokes. He's really smart, happy and fun to hang out with.He's getting pretty good at basketball, too. You should see. And he's trying out coach pitch baseball this year and making his dad proud. People are always telling me how good-looking they think Asher is. But he's reached the age where he can't remember what a smile is supposed to look like. So, you want to see a couple goofy pictures of him? I thought so.

Big Sister Clara

2010-06-11T15:58:00.000-07:00

Clara's four now. She's pretty excited about it. She's mastered jumping on the trampoline and is now learning how to read. (Okay, well, actually we're still working on letter names and sounds, but she's on her way!)She's good at throwing fits if she doesn't get her way but she's also good at pretending, talking on her toy cell phone to her imaginary friends Katie, Christina, and Ballis and the girl cleans her room everyday! She changes her outfit about three times a day, but at least she keeps her clothes on, which is more than I can say for Mary.

She's snuggly and funny and good at re-telling anecdotes from the day.

I love her.

Little Mary

2010-06-10T12:42:00.000-07:00

She's two now and totally crazy! She'll stand over Susan or smash her arm until she cries and then say, "oh! Baby Susan is cwying! I betta hode her!" She's sly like a fox and I swear she knows she's driving Susan (and me) crazy, but she's so flipping cute I can only laugh as I remove her from on top of Susan's irate face and try to calm Susan down.

Baby Susan

2010-06-09T17:27:00.000-07:00

This is the 2010 model of the Williams kid. Here she is five weeks old, which I'm told is at least three weeks too old for good newborn photos. I submit this fact to you as evidence of insufficient mothering.We named her Susan Tia Williams. Joel picked Susan after his aunt Sue Green. But he also has an aunt Sue Rasmussen who's an equally amazing person, so it's pretty much a 2 for 1 deal. I picked Tia after my little Sister, who's amazing too, just in the exact opposite ways of Aunt Sue. We're hoping our little Susan Tia will be amazing just like her two namesakes, making her your basic superhero with superpowers. Up, up, and away!

We love her.

Dang Five Kids

2010-06-08T17:10:00.001-07:00

Guess what? I had a baby.
Which brings the grand total of children what I birthed to a whopping FIVE!
With the birth of each of my children I've realized the necessity of giving up some hobby in order to not be insane (I may have been unsuccessful at this).
For instance, when I had Clara (my third) I realized it was no longer worth it to haul all my kids out to the store to indulge in my favorite escape: clearance rack shopping. (This was great for our budget until I discovered online shopping)
With the birth of Mary I gave up a plethora of pastimes, including trying to dress my children in cute clothes. Hence Mary is naked most of everyday, my boys wear old, holey t-shirts and basketball shorts from Savers, and Clara sports the mismatching-est clothes I've ever seen.
With the birth of Susan I've already discovered a few things I'll give up: making fancy birthday cakes, taking my kids' birthday pictures, and blogging.
Don't cry for me, little one. Let's face it folks, I've never been a stellar blogger (or a frequent one) and while I enjoy it, it has become a cumbersome hobby.
While I still read all ya'lls blogs like I have all the time in the world, please know that the following posts of my kids' recent photo shoot with my talented neighbor, who's a photographer professionally, could very well be my last. (unless I change my mind, which I do all the dang time)
So, enjoy the estrasasanda while you can.

So Not Worth It

2010-04-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

I try out a lot of new crafts and a lot of new recipes. I like to try new things.

At least once a week I'll try out a new recipe or craft I've seen on a blog just because I need the creative outlet. I base a craft/culinary endeavor on whether the time/effort put into it was worth what I got out of it. I would say 75% of the time I won't repeat a craft/recipe because it wasn't worth the time put into it. I saw this on bakerella clear last summer and thought, 'oh, I'll make those for teacher appreciation week next year.'

What I done. And what it weren't worth it. It took hours of mixing, dying, baking, cutting, sprinkling, and decorating, not to mention the time I put into printing out/cutting out templates, etc.This craft WILL NOT be repeated, but it is fun to look at, huh? Also, since I made these for my boys' teachers, it looks like I'm one of those super-achiever moms who volunteers for the PTA, goes on all the field trips and runs all the class parties. Well, I've been a room mother two years running and done nary a thing for either class, either year.

This 'thank you' is it. And it's all I plan to do for the rest of the year.

And while I had good intentions to show the teachers my appreciation for what they done for my boys this year, it still wasn't worth it.

Half way through making all this I was ready to just throw it in the garbage and instead buy them each a $5 gift card to the in-n-out. Next year. P.S. Recent crafts/recipes not worth repeating:

Foot Snuggly - Tried to make the cutest crocheted mary jane slippers for Megan's birthday, but as she mentioned on her blog, instead of being the thing one could slip their slender foot into for a snuggly sashay, they looked like they could hold an enormous meatloaf, instead.

Homemade Pot Stickers - took over an hour to put together and the raw meat grossed my pregnant little heart out that I couldn't even enjoy them.

Macarons - Made them. They tasted great, but instead of having the right kind of filling, I used the homemade frosting I had in the fridge and it wasn't the best combo. Plus, that recipe took precision. Luckily I had my new Kitchenaid to meringue them egg whites!

Gettin' My Craft On

2010-02-03T11:43:00.000-08:00

Here's how I staved off the winter blues today:
I took this clock, which has been on our mantle for many a year and I BLASTED it with spray paint so it'd look like this:
I still haven't decided if I need to antique it to darken it a little. I'm going to see how it looks in the living room at night.
By the way, it totally put me in a chipper, Springtime mood!

And the Award Goes To...

2010-01-15T13:50:00.000-08:00

I won a Major Award.

After my neighbor, Dorothy, won the GRAND PRIZE in the Better Homes and Gardens recipe contest, I've been thinking I've got to come up with a way to make some sweet moola of my own. So I entered the CorningWare Lite recipe contest and was notified a week ago that I was one of six finalists!

The grand prize? 5,000 smackeroos!!!! The prize for runner-ups: some bakeware from down to the Corning.

All week I've been thinking about what I'd do with $5,000. I decided after paying tithing I'd put it all in savings, except I'd buy this beautiful little puppy so that I could make huge batches of cookies for all my friends AND so that it could sit out on my counter at all times so's I could look at it and just be happy.

Today I was notified by Richard, the contest administrator, that....I'm a runner up. Yep. Got some corningware Lite coming my way!

My recipe: New Mexican Shepherd's Pie, which calls back to my hip-swingin' days when I LIVED La Vida la Loca in Santa Fe! This is a favorite for Joel and I because it reminds us of when we was eating green chili's on everything and going to art museums and cultural festivals about every week.

Here's the winning recipe, if you're interested:

1 lb. lean ground turkey
½ cup onion, diced
1- 15 oz. can black beans, drained and rinsed
1- 15 oz. can diced Mexican-style tomatoes
½ tsp. cumin
½ tsp. chili powder
1 tsp. granulated beef bouillon
½ tsp. salt
¼ tsp. pepper

5 russet potatoes, peeled and cubed
1 tbsp. Butter Buds Sprinkles
1 cup fat free sour cream
Salt and pepper to taste

2 yellow summer squash, cubed
1 zucchini, cubed

1- 10 oz. can green mild enchilada sauce
1- 4 oz. can diced mild green chilies

1 cup reduced fat mozzarella or queso fresco, shredded or crumbled

In a large pot, heat salted water to boiling. Boil potatoes until tender.
In a large skillet over medium-high heat add ground turkey, onion, cumin, chili powder, beef bouillon, salt and pepper. When meat is about three-fourths of the way browned, add beans and tomatoes. When meat is thoroughly cooked and liquid from tomatoes is reduced by half, remove from heat and strain turkey mixture, reserving liquid. Spread turkey mixture into the bottom of a 3 quart casserole dish.
In the same large skillet, cook summer squash and zucchini in reserved liquid until translucent and toasty-looking, cooking in batches if necessary. Spread squash in another layer over turkey mixture in casserole dish.
When potatoes are tender, strain most of the water out of the pot. But leave ½ to 1 cup of water in the pot and mash potatoes with a masher or hand mixer. Add butter buds, sour cream and salt and pepper to taste. Spread potatoes over squash in casserole dish.
Mix together enchilada sauce and green chilies and pour over potatoes.
Sprinkle cheese over enchilada sauce and bake uncovered in a 350 degree oven for about 30 minutes, or until enchilada sauce is bubbly and cheese looks toasty.
Serve warm.

I WON a major award, people! Don't be cryin' over the green apple Kitchenaid mixer eggs that you were counting before they hatched! Be grateful that I won a Major Award!

I've never had fancy bakeware such as down to the Corning. What does one bake in such dishes?

Would you Like to Look Like This?

2010-01-05T11:11:00.001-08:00

Because right now,

Glamour Shots by Sam

are 75% off.

Majorette Magic

2009-10-28T08:59:00.000-07:00

Shazaam!

Word of the Day: Deluge

2009-08-19T08:51:00.001-07:00

Here's how Word of the Day posts are supposed to work:
I put up a word for which all commenters are to use in a sentence.
For example, today's word is DELUGE. I know what the word means, so I don't need boring comments like, "The deluge of information she received overwhelmed her." I'm looking for clever, even irreverent sentences, such as, "The deluge of athletic supporters in the "FREE" box in the faculty locker room at BYU catapulted Mark into a frenzy. He flipped and threw the jock straps every which way, searching for his size."

The winning comment will be posted for all to see, thus the winner will receive much fame and glory and lucrative joke contracts from David Letterman.

And for today for the winner, I'm throwing in a plate of cookies just to sweeten the deal. Yeah.

I May Be 30 But I Can Still Do This:

2009-06-29T00:13:00.000-07:00

Now We Are Six

2009-06-12T02:56:00.000-07:00

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a good portraiture of a 6 year-old?

I do.

He's not really interested in smiling for the camera over and over again. He's right in the middle of that painful smile phase. He prefers to look silly, pouty, scary or mean over charming.

You know what did the trick for me, finally? Getting him to do really sweet, awesome, incredible tricks while I snapped away.

But like Grandma Rass says, "Use the best of what you got. And then what you got's the best you got."

There's real wisdom in that.

Here's the best of what I got:

Happy Birthday, Bud.

Cross Out 2, Circle 3

2009-05-26T03:25:00.000-07:00

We recently finished reading Ramona the Pest by Beverly Cleary to the boys. They enjoyed it a lot and one of our new favorite things to say comes from the book. In it Ramona has to do these worksheets where she circles pictures that begin with the /s/ sound and cross out pictures that don't. She also applies this procedure to things she does and doesn't like. For instance, when she's mad at her classmate she thinks, "Circle Ramona, cross out Susan." Now that Clara's three, we can cross out two and circle three.

Here are the birthday pictures Joel helped me out with on Saturday. We would have taken a lot more pictures, but it was raining for part of the time, and we all (including the kids) walked away with about 10 mosquito bites each. We took the pictures at Grandma Rass's house, so I guess it doesn't matter whether you live in a nice neighborhood on the east bench or down in the swamps of Utah Lake - you can't escape the mosquitos.

She was excited to have her picture taken after she saw the special treatment Mary got for her birthday pictures. Which one of these do you think I should print out for the grandmas?

Happy Birthday, Clara!

She's the One

2009-05-08T02:13:00.000-07:00

(I think she looks just like my baby pictures in this one)

(I got that headband down to the Beehive Bazaar)

(A little tantrum is par for the course)

Happy Birthday, Mary.

Even Babies Realize the Genius of Heart

2009-05-02T14:10:00.000-07:00

Pasta with Beans and Sun-Dried Tomatoes

2009-04-07T13:50:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my friend Jenny about my new favorite pasta recipe that I got from the Amateur Gourmet a couple of months ago. It’s a great recipe, and if you want to enjoy it in an unadulterated state, go here. I modified it a bit and now it’s become recipe that I make all the time. It uses few ingredients that I (now) always have on hand, it keeps well in the fridge for leftovers, and the dish takes 20 min. from start to finish. Also, it’s flavorful, filling, and the best answer to my lunchtime hunger pangs!
Here it is:

(A.G.'s picture)

(My picture, 1/2 way through cooking the dish, using beans, not puree)

Pasta with Beans and Sun-Dried Tomatoes
Boil 1 lb. pasta - bowtie, macaroni, penne, whatever. (I use one whole bag – 17.5 oz. of the stuff from Costco. It’s not as cheap as Amy would like, but it’s the best quality pasta I’ve ever used! Mmmm!)
In a large dutch oven or huge skillet add 2 tbsp. olive oil
1 c. sun-dried tomatoes, including oil that the tomatoes are preserved in (it was a big deal for me, but I finally broke down and bought a large jar from Costco for $7.00)
4 garlic cloves, minced or smashed (smashed is much easier and it still gets the garlic flavor in the dish. Just take the peeled garlic clove and whack it with the broad side of a heavy knife. It’s so much faster. Then, if you don’t like chewing garlic, you can easily remove the large smashed chunks once the dish is prepared.)
¼ - 1 tsp. red pepper flakes (I always add a ton of flakes, but I can only ever taste the heat if I bite into one of the flakes in the dish…this may be because I bought my red pepper flakes 5 years ago from the dollar store.)
Cook for 1 min, or until things are looking toasty.
Add 1 c. pasta water.
Reduce liquid in skillet by ½ (takes just a couple of min., depending on how high your heat is)
Add 2 c. or 1 lb. pureed* white beans (you can use a can of beans, if you prefer, but I like the puree SO much better because the sauce that it produces at the end is YUMMY!)
Add ¼ tsp. salt and mix until combined.
Add 1 ½ c. pasta water. Bring to a boil, cook at an active simmer for 4 min.
Add al dente pasta to skillet.
Remove from heat.
Add parsley (as much as you like) and ½ c. parmesan cheese.
Before serving, add 1-2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil to dish.
Also, I always cut up a string cheese and put it in my bowl.

I make this at least twice a month. Most of the time I put it all in the fridge and eat some everyday for lunch, warmed up. It’s the best comfort food, but I think it’s also good enough to serve when friends are over for dinner.

*If you don’t make your own beans, you should start doing it. Open up your enormous tub (I know you have one in your food storage) of beans and put a few cupfuls in your biggest soup pot. Add a ton of water, put it on your stove and turn the heat to high. As soon as the beans start to boil, turn the heat down to Med. Low or Low and cook for it on the stovetop, stirring about once an hour, for a couple of hours, until the beans are mushy and soft. (Add more water as needed to ensure beans are always covered in water.) Then let it sit on your stovetop until it cools, drain the beans, and put them by cupfuls into Ziploc bags. (Snack-sized bags hold 1 cup, sandwich-sized bags hold 2 cups) Freeze the beanbags (just a little bean humor) and then just pull out what you need when you’re making dinner. When I make white beans I cook 3 lbs. at a time. After I cook them I get my blender out and puree half of the batch, ladle it out in 1 or 2 cup increments and freeze them with the rest of the beans. It’s so easy!!!

I Heart Megan

2009-03-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

Being related to Megan is exactly like being related to a high school prom queen...because she is one. She wasn't the cheerleader-narcissistic-stuck-up-with-the-hottest-boyfriend prom queen. She was the funny-and-cute-everybody-thinks-she's-their-best-friend-awesome prom queen.
She's everything one could ever hope to find in a sister-in-law and friend: she's hilarious, spiritual, forgiving, clever, stylish, intelligent, humble and rad.
8 years ago I married Megan's best friend and she quickly forgave me for it. She puts up with my unfounded opinions and overbearance with grace and continues to show me how a real woman carries herself through the stresses of life.
There's a lot to like about Megan. She's quick with a joke and even quicker with making you feel loved and accepted. She has lived her life always trying to be a good person and has a list of accolades to prove it (ask her about 'em). She loves her family more than life itself and has courageously endured the challenges of bearing and caring for three kids within 20 months, including premature twin boys. Through it all she's shown everyone how amazing she is, while proving that her prom queen title was not given in vain (meaning, she's still freakin' hot!)
I love thinking back on the time Joel, Cam, Meg and I videotaped ourselves playing American Idol. Cam played Ryan Seacrest (with a measuring spoon microphone) and Simon (wearing my black t-shirt to play the part). Joel played Randy (pillow under his shirt and voicing a pitiful Southern accent). I played Paula (with too much lipstick and clapping that involved 16 cubic feet of space and ALL of my arms). Megan played the contestant wearing an ugly pink dress and singing the most FOUL rendition of Who's On The Lord's Side, Who? that I've ever heard. She screamed out the words like a scary old lady giving a dramatic interpretation at a fireside. It was dead-on, astounding, and unparallelled. (I was going to upload the video here, but Joel, who has an obviously purer love for his sister, talked me out of it.) Since then, Megan and I have taken to leaving each other voice mail which includes picking a popular song (i.e. You're So Vain) and singing it the way some old lady would sing it. It's really funny and it's the reason I check my voice mail everytime I come home.
So, when I was given the assignment to bring a dessert to her birthday party, you know I had to bring cupcakes. (she loves 'em) I took cues from the idea I found in Hello, Cupcake and produced these beauties. I don't really like desserts that involve more than three steps, but these were for a special occasion. My kids helped me a bit and it was a fun project. They provided enough success that I'd be willing to do something similar in the future.
There's no cake under these flowers, but brownies. If I really loved Megan I would have used this AMAZING recipe, but instead I used a box mix to make these. After they cooled, I secured the oreos with a little frosting, added some frosting leaves, petals and a ladybug.
Happy Birthday, Megan!

Just in case any of you harbor a shred of respect for me, here I am in all my shame (and in my closet) singing an example of the kind of thing I leave on Megan's voice mail. Would you like me to leave one for you? If so, give me an idea of the song you'd like to hear. Also, if you have birthday wishes for Megan, go here.

Word Verification Word of the Day:

2009-03-16T08:33:00.001-07:00

Undeard
and/or
Panticat

Use it in a sentence, please.

Word of the Day:

2009-03-14T07:59:00.000-07:00

Scooch
or
Squelch
Use one in a sentence, please. (imaginative uses are encouraged)

If You'll Just Follow Me...

2009-02-20T20:04:00.000-08:00

My sister is doing a giveaway on her little-known blog. Want to enter?

What are Little Boys Made of? Pee Breaks

2009-02-17T16:29:00.000-08:00

Last week when I picked up the neighbor boy, Att, on my way to taking Asher to kindergarten, Att began relating to me their latest escapades as they scootered home from school.
“When we ride home from school we have to take so many pee breaks,” he announced proudly. “Yesterday we had to stop and have two pee breaks.”
We live less than a mile from the school and the boys can make it home within fifteen minutes of when the school bell rings.
These pee breaks consist of one boy yelling to the others, “Ah! I gotta stop for a pee break!” Then they all stop while one or more does his business on the side of the road. Only after they’ve relieved themselves can they continue their journey.
We live in the suburbs, which means there are houses all around, city streets and paved sidewalks.
As Att audaciously related this tale without reservation, I looked into my rearview mirror to see Asher with a look of utter bewilderment on his face. He had these huge eyes and was looking around the van, like he needed somewhere to hide.
Att had no qualms about relating this tale, but I swear I could see Asher’s thoughts, “What is Att doing?!? I can’t believe he’s telling this to my mom!” I had to try so hard to control myself.
I wanted to burst out laughing, but I calmly explained that:
1. It’s illegal to pee on someone else’s property. If a cop saw them he could give them a ticket.
And 2. If they peed on someone’s lawn the owner of the house might come out and yell at them.
To this, Att replied, “Well, we wouldn’t get yelled at because we peed at a house that was my friends’.”
My final word on the matter was something like, “I don’t want you to pee anywhere but in the bathrooms or at your own house.”
This isn’t the first time I’ve had to deal with my boys peeing outside, and strangely, I KNOW it won’t be the last.

Here It Is:

2009-02-11T16:17:00.000-08:00

The next Pay-it-Forward Giveaway.

There are three prizes up for grabs, but only comment if you've got the chops to do a similar giveaway, either through your own blog or through some other means. (This means that you'll pay it forward to THREE people. Spread the love! Spread the love.)

Only the first three commenters will walk away with a prize, so if you're the fourth commenter, don't come to me expecting a handout, man! They've already been claimed by people with more nimble fingers than you could ever dream to have!

So, in your comments (which can gush over my creativity and generosity all you want) say which prize you have eyes for. If you're the first commenter, you get first pick. If you're the second commenter, don't complicate things by saying you want what #1 picked, or that 'oh!' you just can't decide. First decide, then comment. Also, if I don't have your email, give it to me in whatever way you feel comfortable with (i.e. sexybeast at hotmail dot com, etc. - and whoever really opens an email address with that name will receive a dozen cupcakes from me! The race is on!)

Now, on to the amazing prizes which could be yours:

Prize #1: An earring and pendant set made from sterling silver balls and green shell. The findings are SS as well, but the pin is only silver plated. The pendant is cute, too, huh? But it doesn't come with a chain. :(

Prize #2: (this one's my favorite) two pair of simply elegant earrings made from natural stones (I don't know what kind. Ask Aunt Sue. She's the one who gave them to me). The pins which the earrings are strung on is silver plated.

Prize #3: A mystery prize. I'll see who wants it and then either come up with something I think they'll appreciate (a cake, a free night of babysitting, jewelry, pennant, purse, or whatever my genius mind comes up with!!!).

The contest starts.......NOW!

A Free for All

2009-02-07T08:38:00.000-08:00

My friend, Elicia, lives in a little split-level one street over from me. She just recently finished part of her basement, and I saw the finished result.
There were two tiny bedrooms with new paint, closets and carpet. She now also has a downstairs bathroom, with a huge, gorgeous circle mirror.
I'm so happy for her to have those new spaces for their soon-to-be expanding family. But I have not stopped coveting her bedroom since I saw it. Why? Because instead of a closet door she covered her closet opening with a beautiful drape/shower curtain (it looks classy, really), complete with the cutest shower curtain rings. And her bed had a funky, colorful duvet cover complete with bright, IKEA pillows.
It made me want the same kind of beauty in my own bedroom, which has become the catch-all for my unfinished projects and unneeded furniture.

So, in an effort to take the first baby steps to finding a more a more serene sleeping space I'm offering the following items for interested parties:

Item #1:
My treadmill, which is a hand-me-down from my sister Trina. I used it mostly when I was pregnant and not feeling well enough to go outside for a run, but still wanted a bit of exercise.
It was a generous gift from a loving sister and I'm hoping it can be a welcome addition to your home.
It works well, but I HATE running on a treadmill and I always have. It is not a top model, by any stretch. I think it's from Shopko (brand: Sportcraft) and originally probably cost less than $300. When I got it I had to buy treadmill lubricant off eBay ($7) in order for it to work in top condition and I've never had any problems with it.

Item #2: I bought these 2 cute chairs from a garage sale last summer with the intention of recovering them in beautiful chocolate and cream damask cotton. But it was like adding one more thing to my already overflowing plate, and I'm finally (sadly) letting go of the dream. My sister, Heather, has basically given me everything that's cute in my house, adheres to the mantra 'What Goes Around Comes Around'. I think she's on to something big in the way she lives this through her service and love everyday. The chairs are sturdy and have a bit of sentimental value to me. You see, as I started taking off the old fabric, I found a sale ticket stapled underneath the seat which indicated that these were originally ordered for the Provo Park Hotel (now the Provo Marriott) in 1997. Joel and I fell in love (really) at the Senior Dinner Dance at the Provo Park Hotel in April of 1997. They are in great condition and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the lines and size of these puppies. I even have the fabric to recover them with, which I found at an upholstery fabric shop for a steal at $3.5o per yard.

Are you interested in any of these items?

A Giveaway I Didn't Deserve

2009-02-06T16:11:00.000-08:00

Remember my awesome giveaway? Just after I posted it, I looked on Megan's blog and saw one of her friends was hosting a similar giveaway. I clicked over to it and found the giveaway was available to the first three commenters. Two people had already commented, so I slid in at third. But I felt really guilty about it. I didn't know this person and felt guilty taking her luxurious generosity for granted.

Today I received the giveaway, and I was BLOWN AWAY! Anybody who knows me (Tia) knows I find no pleasure in making my own cards, but they sure are useful when I need a card to give away. So, Willeyes, THANK YOU so much. I had just used my last nice-looking cards for Joel's birthday (tomorrow). I even got out my cardmaking supplies today, thinking how I needed to make more. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I loathe it, really. I don't have it in me. But my! Willeyes does!!! Look at 'em! I'm speechless and so grateful, and per the agreement of accepting said prize I will be hosting another giveaway on my blog soon, so stay tuned. However, be vigilent, people, as the rules of this pay-it-forward giveaway dictate that only the FIRST 3 COMMENTERS score the goods.

A Link to a Video

2009-02-04T12:48:00.000-08:00

I urge you to head over to my friends Joe & Corinne's post, if you dare. They're friends of the Rebel forces and have served their cause well. Obviously, the force is strong with them.
(Yoda voice:) A funny time you will have.
It was just an enjoyable video, okay.
Plus, be sure to wish Marilyn a happy birthday today. She's like, 40, or something.

2009-02-02T08:44:00.000-08:00

Word of the day:
HORK
Use it in a sentence, please.

Want to see what I sent Heather?

And the Winner Is...

2009-01-30T13:12:00.000-08:00

Here are the results of the randominteger.com raffle I used to determine the winner:
Kirsten, who wanted the Be Mine pennant banner, is our lucky winner! Congratulations, Kirsten!
Some of you may have noticed that in her comments she divulged that her email address is sexybeast at hotmail.com, which I think should have made her the winner regardless of integer generator sites. I'd like to make another red glitter banner with just that email address on it, because, it's genius!
So, Be Mine is taken. Kirsten, I sent you an email asking for your mailing address, although I guess I could just call Becca on the phone to get it.
I also decided that since I'm in the spirit of giving ('tis the season, isn't it? I mean, this last Christmas somebody on Kosy 106.5 was singing 'bout how Christmas should last all through the year, so...) I'd like to give away the I Love You banner as well.
randominteger.com (org?) loved Marilyn. So, since I'll see you next week for your berfday, Marilyn, I'll not mail it, but bring it up to the Daybreak myself. That's service!
Now, these prizes are 100% guaranteed, so if you're not satisfied, simply return the merchandise within 30 days for a full refund, minus shipping. And also, be sure to leave me good feedback for my awesome customer service!
Well, so that's it. Fun, huh? Well, except for all you losers.
Look forward to another giveaway...someday

A Pay it Forward Giveaway

2009-01-26T09:14:00.000-08:00

You know what I'm sick of? Entering giveaways on blogs and never winning. Well, almost never winning. I hate getting my hopes up and then realizing I was one of 10,000 people who entered. Hence, I'm starting my own giveaway that may be a little more palatable to my good readers (who can anticipate they'll be one of about 10 entrants).

Heather's gift inspired to create. And I did.

As I thought about her kindness, I felt I not only wanted to pay her back, but to pay her kindness forward. Putting a little something together for her in return for her friendship and generosity was good for me. It provided me with an opportunity to think of something besides laundry and it provided a bright spot of creativity in this seemingly endless winter.

So, I'm sending a little something off to her today as well as hosting my first GIVEAWAY! Lame, you think? Joel thought so, too. And I'm a little sheepish in offering it because I know my collective readership comes in under 15 people. But they're all people I like, so I thought it would be a good idea to give either of these to one of you.

The prize: one of two Valentine-themed wall hangings, made from top quality (Close to My Heart!!!) scrapbook paper, and glitter-covered chipboard letters (40% coupon down to the Michael's), fastened with cute little scrapbooky brads. Put it up in your home, and if this doesn't get your lover feeling romantic, I don't know what will.

Here's the deal:

If you want one of these fine pennant wall-hangings (each pennant is 5"X8"), leave a comment with the following information:

1. which pennant you prefer - be mine or i love you

2. an email address (if I don't already have it)

3. how you'll pay it forward to someone else. I'm thinking you could include what craft or service you'll giveaway on your blog if you win.

I'll choose the winner at random on Thursday night, and then mail it out on Friday or Saturday.

I hope this works! Don't be shy! Tell your friends! Enter! Comment! Win!

How to Win Friends and Influence People

2009-01-21T13:47:00.000-08:00

I know some people. Talented people. Funny people. Deep people. Healthy people. (I could go on and on.)I’m blessed, I know.
For example, look at what came in the mail yesterday? My friend, Heather, posted about a couple of cool dolls she had made. So casually, non-moochingly, I suggested she make one for me. And, she did! And then she paid for the postage to send it out here (from Vegas)! Can you believe it?
Her generosity leaves me speechless, and looking for an equally stunning gift to gift in return. My sewing talents pale in comparison, but I want to wow her the way she did me.Please, in your comments, help me to come up with some ideas.

Gooooooodness!

2008-12-23T07:04:00.000-08:00

You know that part on Princess Bride where Buttercup, pining for her dead lover, says, “I’ll never love again.” I feel like saying that about boiling vegetables. Picture me with gorgeous blonde locks in a beautiful medieval peasant dress, saying, “I’ll never boil again.” Why, you ask? Well, because I’ve discovered ROASTING! Specifically, roasting broccoli. You wouldn’t think it would taste that good, huh? But it’s GOOD! Really good, and fancy!
Here’s the premise: you roast the broccoli at a really high temperature and the little florets get a bit crispy on the tips. It’s yummy. Here’s the recipe: (and here’s where I got it from)

Roasted Broccoli
2-3 bunches of broccoli (make sure it’s dry. If it’s wet, it’ll just get steamed instead of roasted)
2-5 tbsp. good quality oil
1 clove garlic, smashed (optional – I leave it out on account I already have halitosis issues and my husband’s got a sensitive smeller)
About 1 tbsp. kosher salt, or to taste (I feel quite foodie-snobbish now that I own kosher salt for myself. It’s kind of like being in a special gourmette*-ingredient club.)
pepper, to taste
zest of 1 lemon
juice from ½ of a lemon
¼ c. parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Cut broccoli into bite-size florets and spread onto cookie sheet. Drizzle with oil, salt and pepper, lemon zest and add garlic clove. Toss to coat and roast in oven for 15-20 min. or until broccoli is tender and getting browned at edges. Remove from oven and sprinkle with parmesan and fresh lemon juice. Eat while it’s hot and it will be SO GOURMETTE* in your mouth!

The first time I tried the recipe, I used bottled lemon juice from the fridge and no lemon zest. It was gross in comparison. If you don’t have a fresh lemon, omit the lemon all together. It’ll still be a good side dish when made with salt, pepper and parmesan.

I served my broccoli with sweet potatoes cooked according to similar directions: tossing with oil, salt and pepper and ROASTING! THEY WERE SO AMAZINGLY YUMMY!
Roast, people! ROAST!

*Marilyn and I both (or is it just me?) say gourmet by pronouncing the t at the end, because Marilyn’s dad, a brilliant physicist, says it. And if a brilliant physicist says it, I’m going to, too. And if he also says ‘Wal-Mark’ instead of Walmart, he must be on the same wavelength as my dad, and maybe he’s also related to the guy at Joel’s last job that thought façade was pronounced fake-ade.
Do you have anymore funny word mispronunciations to add? If so, please, please do.

I Know What Ya'll Been Waitin' Fer This

2008-11-24T12:11:00.000-08:00

Here are the family pictures my neighbor Julie took of our family last September. We drove clear in the heck (what a great Utah phrase, huh?) to the back side of Squaw Peak - probably almost 2 hours of drive time, in total. But didn't she make us look pretty? She's very good at photography and a wizard down to the Photoshop and I really just want to BE her. THANK YOU, JULIE!

If you'd like Julie to take your family photo, come down to the ward YM/YW fundraiser service auction and bid on her family photo session. But be prepared with some serious cash, 'cause word's getting 'round that does does a body good. She took almost 500 pictures but I've shown restraint and only posted a few here. Come to my house to see more!

Pumpkin Spice Cupcakes

2008-11-19T12:42:00.000-08:00

Do you want to eat this?

Too late. I already did.

Here's the recipe, which I can't really take credit for because I just altered the pumpkin cookie recipe that everybody uses these days.

1 box spice cake mix (I think Western Family has the best spice mix. It's much spicier than the name brands I've used.)

2 c. pumpkin puree (I actually made my own this year and it's really easy and good!) or one 15 oz. can pumpkin

1 egg, plus 2 egg whites

Mix ingredients together, spoon into cupcake tins and bake for 15 min. at 350 degrees. For frosting, I used this recipe, minus the nuts. Frost amply because there's plenty of frosting to go 'round.

Norma's Bean Soup

2008-11-19T12:38:00.001-08:00

This recipe was obtained from my ward cooking group last March. Norma, a new member in our ward, is a great cook and this soup has quickly become one of our favorites!

Bean Soup

8 oz turkey smoked sausage or kielbasa cut into ½ inch slices (I use 16 oz., which is a full package of sausage)
1 c. chopped onion
1 c. chopped celery
2 tsp. minced garlic
1 tbsp. vegetable oil
1 ½ quarts reduced-fat chicken broth
2 c. peeled sweet potato, cubed
2 c. peeled potato, cubed
3- 15 oz. beans (navy beans, black and pinto or 3 combinations of beans that you like - I often use kidney for one of them), drained - I just use a combination of 6 c. of beans that I've made at home and stored in sandwich bags in my freezer
3/4 tsp. dried thyme leaves
1 bay leaf
1 ½ - 2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper

In Dutch oven (or soup pot) sauté smoked sausage, onion, celery, and garlic in oil until sausage is brown. Add remaining ingredients and heat to boiling. Reduce heat and simmer covered, until potatoes are tender. (About 10 to 15 minutes.) If soup is too thick add more chicken stock. Makes about 8 1/2 servings.

Cake Wrecks Party

2008-11-18T12:04:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday I had an little party with a few friends. The party's theme was based on two of my favorite blogs, and it was a lot of fun. Everybody was asked to bring a cake wreck cake, and boy did they deliver. Check it out!

Amy's cake

My entry

Cam's wreck dip, which was funny AND yummy

Megan's cake, which is a real cake wreck which happened to her years ago

Joel's cake, which I think was underappreciated by most

And finally, Marilyn's entry, blogged about here, was a beauty to behold!

Megs helped me out by bringing a yummy salad using butter lettuce, I think.

It was very classy.

She also made three dozen cupcakes and they were perfect in flavor and texture.

I especially liked how her cupcakes provided a substantial backdrop for the fluffy, salty, yummy frosting.

I provided bread, sausage bean soup (thanks, Norma) and tomato tortilla soup,

as well as more cupcakes and frosting.

My favorite aspect of the party was the cupcake bar, which included:

Cupcakes: Vanilla, Chocolate, Pumpkin Spice, Banana Caramel, Black and White Cupcakes

Frostings: Cream Cheese, Caramel, Cherry, Chocolate

Embellishments: Maraschino Cherries, Sprinkles, Jellybeans, Red hots

Everybody was SUPPOSED to take a picture of their cupcake creation, but I don't think anybody was too hip to the idea.

Thanks to whoever took a picture of this gem! Don't you want one of these?See, even a 5 year-old came up with an amazing cupcake creation!

Anyway, forthcoming posts will include recipes from the party. Stay tuned!

Life Lessons Learned from Church

2008-11-16T06:30:00.000-08:00

-by Lincoln

Childhood Stories

2008-11-03T14:13:00.000-08:00

You know how when you were a teenager there were so many times where you'd think, 'Man, my family is crazy!' or 'My dad is nuts!' Well, even though I'm not a teenager anymore I still think my family is crazy and that my dad is nuts.
Do you want evidence?
My brother, Wade, just started a blog devoted solely to our childhood memories. He started out with some posts about my dad. Just so you know, there is ENDLESS fodder for these posts, so keep checking it over and over again!
I'm hoping everyone in the family will pitch in with their own cherished/insane childhood memories.
My brother's GENIUS new blog

Baking with Beth: Meridee's Artisan Bread

2008-10-06T12:26:00.001-07:00

...or, Beth's Ghetto Bread

Meridee found this great book about how to make artisan-style bread in just 5 minutes a day. It's called, How to Make Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day. Doesn't that sound like the oldest gimmick in the book? I bet if I send them 6 box tops and $19.95 plus shipping and handling they'll send me a free trip to Hawaii, too! Please.

The truth is, it takes more than 5 minutes (i.e. 2 hours of allowing the bread to rise), but the bread is REALLY GOOD and REALLY EASY!

And when it comes to making bread, let's just say I ride the short bus. Everytime I try to make bread it turns out dry, unrisen, or in some other way, not worth the 3 hours I spent making it. (suddenly paying $6 a loaf for good bread at the farmer's market seems more affordable)

I don't have a mixer (because I broke it) and I lost the cute little paddle that mixes and kneads the dough in my bread machine. As long as I'm admitting all my culinary faults, let's get out in the open that I tend to break ANY and ALL of my kitchen appliances, giving them a relatively short (but meaningful) life. This explains why I no longer have a blender...or a hand mixer...or a crock pot (actually Meridee recently handed me down hers)...or an electric rice cooker...you get the picture, right?

So with that background, let me say that I produced moist, dense, crusty bread with the first batch I tried! Did I mention that there's no kneading involved? Genius! I'll never knead again! Another bonus to this recipe is that it makes enough dough for 4-1lb. loaves. Technically, you can bake one loaf at a time and save the rest in your refrigerator for another day. But I don't think you'll want to do that. What you'll want to do is bake all four loaves at the same time, eat 1 1/2 loaves by yourself as soon as they come out of the oven (hot and moist and delicious!!!), let your kids share 1/2 a loaf for an afterschool snack, and then have some elegant, European-style bread with your campbell's soup for dinner! And, if you're a compassionate, servicing leader (as it were) of a person, you might want to share one tiny loaf with a neighbor or friend.

The recipe is easy enough for me, so any fool with a pizza stone can duplicate it, k?

Buy the book if you want all the fancy-dancy terms and reasoning behind why the recipe is the way it is, but use my ghetto version for now.

Meridee's Artisan Bread/Beth's Ghetto Bread

3 c. lukewarm water

1 1/2 tbsp. kosher or coarse salt

1 1/2 tbsp. yeast

6 1/2 c. flour

cornmeal for pizza peel

In a 5 quart ice cream bucket put in water, then salt and yeast. Then add all the flour and mix with a wooden spoon until there are no dry patches left. Put bucket lid on (or saran wrap - loosely) and allow to rise for 2-3 hours, or until dough has collapsed or at least leveled off.

Sprinkle dough with about 1/2 c. flour, divide dough in half with a butter knife while dough is still in bucket. Then cut one of the halves in half again, and pull out with your hands 1/4 of the dough from the bucket. Quickly fold sticky ends under the dough, forming a ball. Place shaped ball on a *pizza peel sprinkled with cornmeal (or a wooden cutting board - I think it needs to rest on wood so that it breathes better) Allow to rest for 40 min. Twenty minutes before baking, place a cookie sheet on the bottom rack and a pizza stone on the middle rack and preheat oven to 450 degrees. After bread has rested for forty minutes, sprinkle each loaf with about a tbsp. of flour and with a serrated knife cut a tic-tac-toe or X pattern into top of bread, penetrating about a 1/2".Carefully and quickly pick up dough and put onto preheated pizza stone and then pour two cups of water into cookie sheet below and close oven door to trap steam. Bake for 30 min., or until crust is golden. Allow loaves to cool for at least an hour on a wire rack. (Or use an oven mitt to cut into crust furiously so that you can stuff a buttered, jammed piece in your mouth as fast as humanly possible)

Note: You don't have to cook all your dough at once. You can cook one loaf at a time and just leave the remaining dough covered in your fridge for up to 2 weeks (right Meridee? or 1 week?)

*a pizza peel is one of those fancy paddles that real fancy restaurants use for getting fancy pizzas out of fancy brick ovens. I don't have one of those, and I don't even have a wooden cutting board. So, you know what I used? A board out of my garage (settle down! I washed it first!) and it worked great. What part of the term GHETTO bread don't you understand?

Next Time I'll Wear An Adult Diaper

2008-10-05T19:39:00.001-07:00

I peed my pants in fourth grade.
And if you played 4-square in elementary school, you’ll understand why.
I was playing on one of the coveted 4-squares with some of the top players in the grade. And I really needed to pee. But I had brought my A-game and was
squarin’ it up,
if you know what I mean.
I really, really needed to pee.
I was even doing the pee-pee dance to try to hold it in. I even had other players ask, appalled, if I wanted to take a break and go into the bathroom. “No, I’m okay.” I said as I danced. I didn’t want to miss out on the game, especially as I worked my way up from
D-square to
C-square to
B-square and finally to
A-square.
I was the ruler of the 4-square!
I had dominated the game to the point of being queen of the square.
That is, until I peed and peed and peed my pants. I was wearing these light pink pants in some light nylon-type fabric (parachute-type material?), so the pee spread quickly through the fabric from my crotch down to my socks and into my L.A. Gear knock-offs. The pee cascaded so freely from me that there was no stopping the dam once it’d been compromised (help me out here, Joel, with explaining the engineering principles of a compromised dam) and my classmates stood aghast as one of them incredulously exclaimed, “She’s peeing her pants!!”
I was in A-square and I wasn’t ready to give it up. I kind of stood there, hopping from one foot to the other trying to decide whether to stay there and play the game out (did I mention I was in A-square?) or go to the bathroom like any sane child would. One of them finally offered, “Why don’t you go into the bathroom and…clean yourself ?” I reluctantly acquiesced.
Here’s the best part: I was soaked. SOAKED! And do you know what I did? I stayed at school for the rest of the day sitting in my pee.
I went to class and sat in my desk (not to get up until the school-is-dismissed bell rang) amid disgusted looks from my classmates and muffled cries of horror at the smell.
Yes sir! I was a socially well-adjusted child which helps explain my winning personality today!

So, that was when I was ten.
And this week I lived to experience it all over again. How, you ask?

(Wow. How did I NOT get picked to go the Olympics?!)

I went to Jump On It for Lincoln’s birthday. It’s a place where there’s about 50 trampolines all smashed together which = heaven for me.

(Fun, no?)

The trampolines were all so bouncy! Growing up I bet I spent more hours outside on my trampoline than I did inside sleeping at night.

I loved reliving all my aerials, 1 1/2 back flips, suicides, oreos, and round-off back handsprings. But, to put it discreetly, birthing 4 children has not been all roses, people. I had a hard time maintaining bladder control and I had to end my jumping session a little early due to…well, I'll let your imagination fill in (or lose control of) the rest. (I think Joel thought he was a gazelle.)

You okay? Sorry if I lost some friends in admitting that on my blog.

Anyway, here’s a couple photos from Lincoln’s birthday, including the special cake he requested. He specifically asked for a cake that said STAR WARS THE CLONE WARS.

(Incredible art work!)

And he wanted the cake to be strawberry and blueberry flavored. I went to a bit of trouble trying to fill that tall order and then he didn’t eat even ONE PIECE of it. He doesn’t like cake, even strawberry and blueberry flavored cake. (Thanks, son. I’m glad I spent all that time on it so that you could NOT EAT IT.)

(Note new homemade Jedi robe, homemade Jedi tunic, and solid gold soccer medal)

Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing, Baby

2008-09-25T14:39:00.000-07:00

At my Relief Society cooking group meeting this month my neighbor, Linda, brought cookies. Good cookies! Chocolate with chocolate chip cookies dipped in white chocolate, or in other words, black and white cookies.

There were spicy notes to the aftertaste which left me intrigued. Provoked. Upon investigation I was surprised to find no nutmeg, no cinnamon in the ingredient list of the cookies! This cookie was so yummy, yet complex, that I could taste the afternotes of the white chocolate they were dipped in! Genius! (I'm not TRYING to sound like a foodie. I AM one...okay not really, but I wish I was)
Here’s the recipe, which I made for some of our neighbors who helped us with our sod last weekend:

Double-Rich Chocolate Cookies (Mrs. Fields recipe)
Submitted by Linda Drake

2 ½ c. all-purpose flour
½ tsp. baking soda
¼ tsp. salt
½ c. unsweetened cocoa powder
1 c. dark brown sugar, packed
¾ c. white sugar
1 c. salted butter, softened
3 large eggs
2 tsp. pure vanilla
2 c. semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 300 º. In a medium bowl combine flour, soda, salt and cocoa powder. Mix well with a wire whisk and set aside. In a large bowl blend sugars with an electric mixer at medium speed. Add butter and beat to form a grainy paste. Scrape down sides of bowl, then add eggs and vanilla. Beat at medium speed until light and fluffy. Add the flour mixture and chocolate chips, and blend at low speed just until combined. Do not over mix. Drop dough by rounded tablespoons onto ungreased cookie sheets, 1 ½ inches apart. Bake for 21-23 minutes. Immediately transfer cookies with a spatula to a cool surface. (Option: dip cookies into melted white chocolate chips or almond bark for a triple chocolate treat!)

Unkempt Squiggles
My sister, Laura, was over while I was making these this weekend and for some reason she was really ticked off about a lot of elements of this recipe.

“20 minutes at 300 degrees! Ha! Turn it up to 350 and cook it for 10 minutes!”

(She had angry eyes as she said this)
Later, when we were dipping the cookies, it proved too much for her patience. She ended up plooping out huge wads of white chocolate onto the cookies.

Sad.

I was hoping to impress my neighbors with my culinary elegance. Our ploomps were accomplished by filling up a Ziploc sandwich bag with white chips, microwaving them (for some reason the white chips made my microwave make angry, chemically, electrocution sounds) and squirting the chocolate on top of the cookies.

After I finished the recipe I realized I needed a few more cookies than the doubled recipe had made. But I didn’t want to go to all the hassle of creaming the sugar and butter, etc. (Plus, I was out of baking cocoa)

So, I turned to my old standby: a box of chocolate cake, 2/3 c. of shortening and 2 eggs mixed with 2 c. chocolate chips. I baked the spooned out dough onto a cookie sheet and baked for 9 min. and then smooshed white chocolate onto them.

You know what? they were almost as good as the real thing (baby). Super chocolatey and yummy with lots of chocolate chips and the contrast of the mellow white chocolate. But with this batch, I missed out on the spicy nuance in the previous batches' cookies.

Next time I'm going for the real thing, baby. Even though it was extra work it was a better-flavored cookie that I appreciated a lot! Although, I literally ate at least 10 cookies from the first batch and then 10 more cookies from the second batch, so maybe having access to either cookie is a mistake (note sidebar where my fantasy baby weight-less wardrobe waits for me)

And now, who here is itching for more disco? I thought so. Alicia Bridges sings my favorite disco song of all time. But you may not have known that it only became my favorite AFTER I watched this music video on VH1. ENJOY!

And if that wasn't frightening enough for you, know that the following music video was in earnest. This is not supposed to be a joke, folks.

Gore-Jis!

2008-09-20T20:05:00.000-07:00

(Our front lawn: pre-tilled)

When we moved into our house the back lawn lacked…lawn.

Our backyard was a mess of crabgrass, weeds and when it rained, puddles that didn’t ever drain. This year we aimed our saved pennies at saving the backyard.
The vision we had for our lawn included sprinklers, sod, a swingset and a cement pad.

We've planned and worked for six months, making slow progress

and feeling frustrated with each other a lot.

(My big bro, Wade)
Today we laid our sod!

And it looks GORE-JIS!
I really stopped believing (around mid-June) that this day would ever come,

even though Joel has literally spent every free night and weekend working on it.

We’ve had a lot of help from family and friends, but really folks, Joel is the real hero here.
Bless him, will you?
Joel and I spent much of this afternoon just staring at our new and improved lawn.

We decided just Wednesday that we’d spring for sod and install it this weekend. Joel asked me if I would send an email out to our friends in the ward to see who could come help us, and this is what I sent out:

You Busy Saturday?
Who am I emailing this to?

The Cooking Group!

Why? Because you're the only people in the ward that I have emails for.
What do I want? Free labor.
That's right, folks. We've been tearing up our sad, sad lawn all summer and even have our new sprinklers in.

We've ordered sod (yikes!) to be delivered sometime Friday night and are going to lay it on Saturday starting at 8:00 a.m.
Do you want to help us?
We'd love to have your help, whether it be for an hour or for 10 minutes. We'll be working on it all day, but we're asking for any of ya'lls help from 8:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.
If that's not enough to entice you, we'll also have snacks, treats and a live band...okay, no band, but we might turn the radio on or something.
So, if you want us to be your BFF and to owe you BIG TIME for future services, come over Saturday morning and work like crazy.
Thank you in advance for your help. We love this ward and feel lucky to have so many friends here. (have I instilled enough guilt in you yet? just kidding...kind of)
Thanks,
Beth

Joel’s comment on this email was that I was basically just begging for help, but I thought I was rather clever.
Then Joel sent out another email to friends and family which went like this:
When it’s sod-layin’ time in Nebraska…
. . . it's also sod layin time in Provo at Joel & Beth's house. We're
having sod delivered friday night and will be laying it in the back
yard on Saturday morning. We're inviting all we know to come help.
On such short notice we realize that most of you will already have
better things to do, but we thought we'd send out a plea anyway. If
you've got an hour to spare, we'll appreciate your help, if not, we
know you'll be here in spirit, laying that spritual sod . . .or what
ever spirits do at a sod laying party. Hmmmm. . . maybe we should
have looked into that spiritual sod. I bet it's much lighter and
never gets weeds, but does it green up?
Anywho, thanks for the thought,
Joel

(Nice shot of somebody's be-hind)
Here was the response this morning: About 15 people from our ward, Joel’s friends, and my brothers showed up to help.

('Nuther good butt shot)

What we thought was going to take us four hours took one hour with everybody’s help.(hard workers, paid in Krispy Kremes)

Then we decided to use the leftover sod for a problem spot in the front yard. We borrowed a neighbor’s tiller and with everybody’s help the front lawn was tilled, cleaned up and graded, with new sod in place in about another hour. Wow! What great friends we have! Thanks to everybody who took time out to help us. We appreciate it so much and look at what we have to show for it. Amazing.
Don’t you just want to roll around on it naked? Just Kidding!...kind of.

(Cookies taken to our neighbor-helpers)

Re-upholstery Magic

2008-08-23T14:54:00.000-07:00

Presto-Change-o!

Most of you know that just about everything in our house is either from D.I. or it was given to us. Here we have the highest in country charm fashion from 1990, a hand-me-down from somebody I used to babysit for. While it boasts high quality construction and upholsteryship (made that term up myself) the fabric was getting worn and....stained. Ah, here's the matching ottoman. Beautiful. Perfect for rolling down the hallway like a boogie board in the ocean. It, too, suffers tears and stains unbefitting a furniture piece of its caliber. (Note in this picture my uber sweet log bed)

What these fine furniture needed was someone with a loving, patient touch; Someone with skilled hands and an unabashed flair for high fashion.

You can assume they never got that. What they got was ME. You know me: impatient, cheap, with reckless abandon. This nice set was practically begging me to just LEAVE it in its shabby state rather than endure the tortures of my "Chester-quality" job. (Chester is my dad and he does odd jobs just as well as I do...which a lot of times means the job gets done and fast, but not always well.)

But I couldn't. I wanted to recover them. So, I went to the Home Fabrics in Arm (Orem) found cool gold fabric for $3.50 a yard and bought a bunch. Then with meticulous precision I ripped off most of the fabric and pulled out hundreds of staples. See:

Poor chair and ottoman!

Then I cut out huge pieces of fabric, laid them over the chair and did my best to jimmy rig them in place with Chet's electric stapler. The arm pieces, shown below, were cut out wrong. So, after I cut out all my other pieces to staple on I realized I had just enough fabric left over that I could cut out new arm pieces. So I did. And then five seconds later I realized I CUT THE FABRIC IN THE WRONG DIRECTION!!!!!!! Aargh!

Here they are finished. You see that cushion looking so unpresuming and cute? Well the little punk took me FOUR hours to make and the piping still looks like a cub scout did it! If I ever do another reupholstery project again, piping will NOT be included!

Don't look close, fools! This is a Chesterized Beth Williams project! Why do you think I chose such blurry photos?

In all, this project took me about three years to complete (...or 1 month) It was a lot of headaches and I have a bruise on my shoulder from the kickback of the staple gun (really). But if you're a woman of leisure, like me, you've got plenty of time for these little crafts.

Whenever I do these projects I'm always diving in before really thinking through things, assuming the project will figure itself out. I don't like to think about step two until I'm halfway through step one. Afterwards I often feel a bit of remorse that I didn't plan better or try harder to do a better quality job. Then I console myself by thinking how it looks better than it did before (though not much) and that the whole project came in under $25.

If you think you'd like to Chesterize a chair or two of your own, here's some words of advice:

1. Don't plan ahead.

2. Rip off the fabric way before you buy your replacement fabric so that your kids will roll all over the batting/foam for a few days to dingey it up.

3. Don't worry about having the right size of staples. Just use whatever you have (1/4") for half of the chair and then switch to a bigger size when you realize your two year old could pull all the fabric off by herself.

4. Buy as little fabric as needed. You don't want to spend an extra $5 on fabric when you could piecemeal the back of the chair...nobody looks back there, anyway. Plus, you love taking another hour out of your day to go back to the store to buy more.

5. Don't worry your head about taking all the old fabric and piping off before you put the new stuff on. Everybody LOVES seeing piping from the old job under your new fabric. It's really cool.

6. Clean up can be saved for a rainy day! Scissors, electric staple guns still plugged in, loose staples and jewelry pliers are FINE where they are when you have shag carpet and small children running around.

7. Buy as much time away from your kids as you need to finish this job by turning on PBS kids...for educational purposes. Every good re-upholstery mom wants to expand her children's minds.

8. Finally, put your finished product in the baby's room because it will NEVER get beaten up there.

Maybe You've Already Seen This

2008-08-22T17:04:00.001-07:00

Cake Humor

2008-08-22T16:56:00.000-07:00

Baking with Beth...again

2008-08-16T09:28:00.000-07:00

I’m revisiting the Breakfast Brulee recipe because I like it so much. Yoplait yogurt was on sale again this week, so this morning I tried the recipe again.

Here’s the original recipe.

Also while grocery shopping this week I picked up a package of day-old cake donut holes, originally intending them to be used in Lincoln’s school lunches next week.
Since I never buy refrigerated biscuits I wanted to try this recipe using other “breads” to see if the recipe was flexible. Here’s this weekend’s version:

Churro Brulee

2 eggs
12 oz. vanilla yogurt
¼ c. milk
1/8 tsp. nutmeg

Beat together until mixed

20 cake donut holes (covered in cinnamon), smashed

I preheated the oven to 375 degrees, then sprayed 8 ramekins with Pam. I placed the ramekins on a cookie sheet and put 1 ½ smashed donut holes in the bottom of each ramekin and then topped it with ¼ c. of yogurt mixture. Then I topped each with 1 smashed donut hole and poured some water into bottom of cookie sheet. Then I baked it for 20 min.

The result: It was good, although not quite sweet enough. I assumed that the donut holes would have enough sugar in/on them to sweeten up the custard. But both Joel and I sprinkled about a ½ tsp. on top of our cooked custards and liked the flavor better that way. Next time we make this recipe we’ll definitely sprinkle a ½ tsp. of sugar over each custard before we top it with the donut hole.
We also liked the texture that the donut holes brought to the dish. It was not doughy at all, but smooth, cakey and yummy. And the cinnamon that covered the donut holes reminded both Joel and I of a churro: the top of the custard had a slight crunch to it, and the custard underneath reminded us of the chewy/soft inside a churro. So, it was a hit! We loved it. I’m interested in trying out this recipe with other yogurt flavors as well as other breads. Particularly, I can’t wait to get my hands on Meridee’s artisan bread recipe so I can try it out in an upcoming breakfast brulee creation.

Ole!

Baking with Beth

2008-07-26T12:34:00.000-07:00

While my little sister dreams of starring in her own cooking show, I've already lived that. Gone down that road. Tested those waters.
Some of you may recall the semester of 8th grade where I ANCHORED the DBS (Dixon Broadcast System) News EVERYDAY with Matt Duerden as well as contributed occasional (okay, just once) "Baking with Beth" cooking segments. (Cue the memories of Mr. What's-his-name (journalism teacher)and his strange obsession with me: casting me for a specialty "makeover" spot in the yearbook, keeping a picture of me hung in his office for years, and continually pestering my little sister (he was her ballroom coach for a while) with questions about me...fame has its price.)
As I recall, the most popular (or only) recipe featured was butterscotch pudding from the box with whipped cream and crushed Skor bar on top. I got the recipe from an ancient cooking with kids recipe book out of the vast Dixon Middle School library. good times.
So, I love cooking. I'm not gourmet, and I have dang four kids (my new excuse for everything I don't do well), but I cook so that I can eat something good. I think that's one of the threads that bind Marilyn and I together: we obsess about food. When am I going to eat next? What can I make that's going to taste really good? And, how much can I eat on the sly without having to share with my kids? If dinner turns out gross, can I pawn the leftovers on my husband for his lunch tomorrow?
I'm enjoying my Google Reader subscriptions to food blogs very much, though I haven't tried any of the recipes from them until now. And while others I know post a ton of pictures of great food they make, I'm too impatient to stop and take pictures of every step. Anyway, here's my first attempt at a food blogging estrasasanda.
Recipe #1: Fruit Leather

Amy, this is your recipe, plus I added some sugar. (I think my journey to becoming super healthy is going to take a little longer than yours.)
My mom gave me a bucket of apricots (and though you'll never read this mom, because you have to call me to come over and turn your computer ON, type up your mass email anecdotes from your Nauvoo missionary friends, connect to your DIAL-UP internet - that internet speed should be outlawed, and print off any and every church talk and/or Sounds of Sunday sappy with cheese story ever aired, thanks.) and I didn't have any pectin to make jam, didn't have any intention of going to the store soon, and the apricots were getting RIPE. So, I blended them all up and added some powdered sugar to taste, poured it out onto greased cookie sheets and let them dry in the sun. It was yummy! Thanks for the recipe, Amy!
P.S. Some unexpected ingredients found their way to our special fruit leather. It may be because we live next door to a swamp (but I'll thank you to refer to it as a wetland, because it sounds less trailer-trash-y) and because our backyard is still just dirt and rocks.
A little protein with our antioxidants:
Dirt is a good source of minerals:

Recipe #2: Breakfast Brulee
I copied this recipe out of a book at Meridee's house (check out her add-on). I liked how it was a faster, easier version of Creme Brulee - I didn't even need a blow torch for the carmelized sugar on top! Plus, since I used lowfat yogurt and 1% milk, I cut out a ton of fat. I feel pretty good about myself for that. Because with all the fat I saved in this recipe, it means I can eat just that many more of my brownies (see below). P.S. How come my baby fat isn't just melting off me?

It was really yummy and reminded me of bread pudding. I thought the biscuits gave them a too-starchy flavor, but if you like biscuits, then you'll probably appreciate that flavor in them.
2 good quality eggs
1/4 c. good quality whipping cream (please! I'm not going to the store for 1/4 c. whipping cream! I just used 1% milk)
1/8 tsp. good quality ground nutmeg
12 oz. good quality french vanilla yogurt (2 containers of Yoplait)
1 can good quality Pillsbury Grands Flaky Layers refrigerated biscuits
1/3 c. good quality sugar
3 tbsp. good quality butter or margarine

Heat oven to 375 degrees. Spray 8 ramekins with Pam, place on cookie sheets. In bowl, beat eggs, cream, nutmeg, and yogurt until well blended. Separate dough into 8 biscuits and then 1/2 each biscuit, making 16 rounds. Place sugar in shallow dish. Brush both sides of each round with butter (I used my corn butterer, so I think after all I only used about 1 tbsp. of margarine) coat both sides with sugar. Place 1 dough round in bottom of each ramekin. Spoon 1/4 c. yogurt mixture over dough in ramekin. Top with remaining rounds. Bake at 375 degrees for 20 minutes or until tops are golden brown. Cool 15 min. before serving.

Recipe #3: Brownies
This is my new favorite way to make brownies. Get a box brownie mix, reduce the oil from 2/3 c. to 1/2 c. (shh, don't tell anyone. this is just to trim some fat from the recipe) and make mix according to directions. Before baking, sprinkle 1/2 c. butterscotch chips on top of batter in baking dish and then bake as usual. The chips sink a bit into the batter and give the brownies a hint of caramel flavor. YUM!

Does anyone have recipes they'd like me to post about?
And, this post took me over an hour to create. Am I the only one who feels guilty that I didn't instead spend the time playing with my kids, folding 4 days worth of laundry or cleaning my kitchen for the first time this week (...it's Saturday)?
Attention Missy Christensen: I can't find your blog! Please send me the link along with a $20 processing fee.

It's My Blog and I'll Post a Million Pictures of My Kids If I Want To

2008-07-23T12:57:00.001-07:00

So, most of you don't care to see 4,000 pictures of Mary. But here she is, anyway, in all her glory. (I took these on my birthday, when she was 7 weeks old)

After I took these I got some great advice from a photographer Visiting Teacher, so next time I'll take a lot more time setting up my photo shoot, making sure the lighting is better so there's less editing to do afterward.

Mobiles

2008-07-22T10:02:00.000-07:00

Who is going to make me one of these?

2008-07-07T18:31:00.000-07:00

I'm busy. I have dang four kids. I can't get anything done, especially blogging, unless I let something else slide. And as I'm tentatively hoping that Clara's interest in the totie will turn into being really potty trained, blogging continues to fall further and further down the priority list. (As it is Clara pooed - how does one spell that? - in her swimsuit and then somehow got poo smeared all over my carpet in three spots. It was refreshing because I just hadn't cleaned enough today.) As does responding to any of ya'lls posts. You should feel so lucky if I ever comment because at this point, my comments on blogs is so rare it's an endangered species.
That is why I'm giving another lame post of OTHER blogs you should check out.
The Amateur Gourmet
I love it because I love food and his blog is accessible to my style of cooking.
Light in Leaves
Anyone who knows Marilyn is going to love her new blog, because instead of showing us (another) picture of her gorgeous kids, she mostly writes. And she's witty and smart, grounded and thought-provoking without being fussy or pretentious. And until recently, I think most of you weren't privvy to great emails from her, like me. See, we're real, real, real close...(bff) And I think if enough people comment on her blog about how badly they want to see her new house, maybe she'll post pictures so we can all be jealous of her. Because, really people, she has a TURQUOISE washer and dryer (front loaders!!!!!!!!!!)
Passive Aggressive Notes
Caution: I've seen MORE THAN ONE swear word on posts here. You've been warned.
P.S. I love it when people send me good blogs. Keep 'em coming!

Seriously So Blessed

2008-07-01T14:14:00.000-07:00

I just thought I'd pass on this awesome blog that my sis-in-law Amy sent me.
Pretty Sweet.
http://seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com/

She's a 2nd-Gen Blogger

2008-06-26T11:50:00.001-07:00

My sister done started herself a blog!

Check it out!

Photography 101: What NOT to do

2008-06-23T18:54:00.001-07:00

Here's a quick list for all you amateur photographers on what NOT to do when your hair stylist, a former mission companion of your sister-in-law acquiesces to you taking her bridal pictures:

Number One. Do NOT bring your camera WITHOUT a memory card in it

or you will only be able to take 5 pictures before your camera memory is used up

and then you'll have to drive back to the bride's house

so she can delete a bunch of pictures from her Hawaii and Thailand trips

so that you can use the memory card from her camera.

Number Two. Do NOT bring your camera with a dead battery. Enough said.

Number Three. Make sure that the EXTRA camera battery you brought is NOT DEAD

because if you bring two dead camera batteries you'll have to embarrassingly borrow batteries from the bride.

Number Four. Know where your going to take the pictures at.

That way you won't waste forty minutes looking for the American Fork Ampitheater

only to end up at the Lehi Costco.

The steel siding and gigantic shopping carts just aren't bridal enough.

I embarrassed myself so many times on Saturday when Megan, Squire and I got together to take some pics.

I just can't stop shaking my head about it.

The lighting was SO harsh!

and I was worried that none of the pictures were going to turn out.

But Squire (Emalee) was so laid back about it that it calmed my nerves. Plus, look at her!

She's gorgeous! And while I was at my skinniest when I stuffed myself into my bridal gown, I was never a dang size 3 that Squire is! After a little editing to work on the fill light in a lot of the pictures, here are some of the results.

Squire: THANK YOU so much for letting me take your picture!

I had so much fun and I'll do it again if you're up for it!P.S. Does Meg look hot, or what? She's sultry even with them twins just about bustin' outta her.

(It's that ultimate uterus of hers)

When you have your babies, Meg, can I get my picture taken with them like I was the one what birthed them?

The Enabler

2008-06-19T14:11:00.000-07:00

Asher is obsessed with Star Wars.
Addicted.
And, I realized, I am an enabler.
You know, a person who, in some way (many ways), supports, validates, or helps an addict to continue in their addictions, sometimes opening "avenues", if you will, to deeper addictive behaviors.
Here's the evidence:
I made him a Darth Vader birthday cake (thanks to Becca's method)

I bought him 2 Star Wars books

I made him a real Jedi robe out of fabulous polyester fabric
If this isn't damning enough, I've introduced a new "user" to this Star Wars Junkie club.

Meet Force of the Blue, or Padawan-Maggie.

Fiver

2008-06-14T14:54:00.000-07:00

When Lincoln and Asher were little I went to Target to get their pictures taken. But too often I came away disappointed with scary photographers and less than gorgeous pictures of my cute kids.

For the past two years I've been taking the kids to get their pictures taken at Fotogenix. They do a great job, their children packages are less expensive and the lighting is always flawless. But it's still too expensive.

I want great pictures of my kids, but I've become tired of trying to justify to Joel how I spent about $45 on three sheets of pictures. I took Clara there for the last time last month to get her 2 year-old pictures taken. It went great! There were so many pictures of Clara that were so adorable that I finally decided on a collage 8X10...that cost $60...one sheet.

That was the deal-breaker for me. I finally told Joel I can't go there anymore. I'm tired of the guilt of spending so much money. Now, I'm switching it up.

I bought a reflector so I could take Tia's bridal and engagement pictures last fall. And Joel's been saying for years that I should just take the kids' birthday pictures with my little digital camera. So, I done it.

It was Asher's birthday on Thursday (basically, it was a Star Wars Estrasasanda!) so the next day Joel and I loaded the kids up and went down to the Utah State Hospital (that's where you go if/when you're crazy) for some photog fun! Here are the results, along with my own version of the $60 Fotogenix collage.

After a 10 second tutorial on how to use the reflector, Joel was/is now the resident professional photographer's assistant of the Utah State Hospital.

Cute, huh?

Pictures from Clara's Birthday Party

2008-06-06T18:21:00.001-07:00

So, everyone's been awaiting with anticipation pictures from Clara's birthday party, right? Her opening EVERY gift and posing with it, her blowing out candles on her horsie cake, and her face smeared with chocolate. Hilarity! Cuteness! All about the 2 year-old birthday girl.

I would totally post pictures of all that for you here. Except I gave my camera to Cam so he snap some pics of the darling girl while I hosted. I handed this HUGE responsibility over to him so that he could help me out like a good, loving, helpful governess sort of brother-in-law would do. This is what I have of Clara's party:Looks like two more of the nutsies got their little paws on my fine piece of electronica:

Thanks, Cam, Megan and Meridee.

P.S. Didn't I marry into the dang best-looking family ever?

Bubble Wrap Game

2008-05-30T21:27:00.000-07:00

Play this bubble wrap game!

I can always play games like these on the Internet for hours.
What a waste of time!
But then, the time I spend reading ya'lls blogs is basically a waste of time, too, so get over it.

Okay, just kidding. I love the blogs. Everybody's blogs are WONDERFUL! They are the BEST use of my time, hands down!

Line Upon Line Greeting Cards

2008-05-23T13:19:00.000-07:00

I love this line of greeting cards! They're Mormon-y without being too lame.

Here are some of my favorites: I think Cheerios under the car seat should count as a 72-hour kit.

You're such a good mom.

Families are Forever.

I hope you like your in-laws.

I heard that Latter Day Saint women stop having kids after 35...

I guess they think having 36 kids is just too many?

Born of goodly parents

Congratulations on the birth of your new baby. If I were still in the pre-existence, I would have chosen you, too.

I am convinced that of the ten virgins five of them had callings in Young Women and that's why they never got the announcement.

We miss you in Relief Society!

Elder's Quorum Movers and Shakers

Thanks for the cheap labor.

Count your blessings - name them one by one

1.) me

Birth Announcement

2008-05-20T10:38:00.000-07:00

Tia insisted I put some pictures here of the announcements for Mary that we put together on Saturday. But, here are the numbers, folks: I have 8 brothers and sisters, 3 sets of grandparents, in-laws, parents, friends, and concourses of cousins and distant rellies. And we only made a mere 12 announcements. If you actually get one of these beauties in your hot little hands, consider yourself blessed. If you never see one of these in real life, who cares? It's just a super-cute birth announcement. Tia did most of the work, obviously. I only printed out the pictures and announcement while she did all the artistic aspects. She's a 2nd-gen stamper.

Mary Fiona

2008-05-19T13:45:00.000-07:00

It happened, but only because my midwife showed forth mercy.

I went to my appointment on Wed., May 7th and asked when the soonest would be that she would induce me. "We'll induce you anytime after 39 weeks. So, we could induce you tomorrow."

That was all I needed to hear. We scheduled the elective induction for the next day and voila! We had a baby on Wed., May 8th at 12:48 p.m.

She weighed 8 lbs. 2 oz. and measured 19 1/2" (and that's our smallest baby!)

She's obviously gorgeous! Enjoy the pictures.Just minutes after she was born:

That shiny stuff on her eyes are antibioticsI feel better already!I think Joel is still overwhelmed. He keeps exclaiming to himself, me, the kids, and people over the phone, "We're a family of six now!" Take deep breaths, honey.

This is my favorite picture. Good photog, Joel!Here's a photo shoot a couple of days after she was born:

We have a tradition that started when we came home from the hospital with Asher. We laid Asher on our bed and Lincoln, still just 1, ran into his bedroom and brought out Ralphie, Joel's old cabbage patch kid and laid him next to Asher. It was like Lincoln was laying his baby Ralphie next to our baby Asher. We also snapped pictures of Clara with Ralphie (and Ed, seen here) Mary enjoyed her photo op with these guys, as well.

New Jedi Math

2008-04-26T13:11:00.000-07:00

So, at Lincoln's first SEP his teacher showed me these great pictures that Lincoln had drawn of tigers, snowmen and holiday-themed motifs. They were the kind of pictures a mother could frame, journal and dedicate a shrine to on her refridgerator. Mrs. Gunn gushed about his abilities to really put in the time to make a quality picture regardless of whether he was the first one finished or not. Awesome.
Lately in his notebook and journal, I've noticed a thematic shift to everything Star Wars.
This week he brought home a complex math problem that further leads me to believe that the Force of the Green is still strong in him. Let me sum up: If there are 2 Jedi fighting and then 3 more come, that makes a total of 5 Jedi. Obviously the quality of work is above kindergarten par both mathematically and artistically.
I'm just glad that these abilities are not wasted on trite, pop-culture-driven money-makers like Hannah Montana or Dora the Explorer.

Man with Flying Machine (or Tarp) Attempts High Flying Stunts

2008-04-24T15:31:00.000-07:00

So, we took a trip to the sand dunes last week.Other than being a titch windy, the weather was perfect.Obviously, so was Clara in her moviestar sunglasses. Orville Wright, seen here, spent CONSIDERABLE time trying to get his flying machine to...fly.
His mouth stood agape at my lack of faith in attempts, theories, and engineering abilities of aforementioned inventor.
His intentions were purely scientific and thrill-seeking.
Unfortunately, at the end of the day his dream of flying,
soaring over the sand dunes, remained unrealized.Fortunately, there was plenty of sand to dig through, drifts to jump from, and other family adventures to pursue.
It was a really fun day!

Wild Nights

2008-04-16T11:52:00.000-07:00

Basically, the favorite song of every kid in our house is I’m So Glad When Daddy Comes Home. And here’s one reason why: at least twice a week Joel makes up some game, obstacle course or adventure for us all to participate in. Here are two from this week:
Episode 1: Football Camp Meets Track Meet
Round 1: High Jump
All cushions from two couches and all blankets under side table got stacked up on the living room floor.

Then a rope was held by Joel while the other end was tied to the slide.

Then kids took turns perfecting their high jump skills/acrobatics.

Round 2: Tackle Practice
Two couch cushions were stacked on top of each other and kids run from kitchen into living room to smash them Utes to pieces!

Episode 2: Trapeze Practice

Joel, without regard to homeplace safety, held a kid by one arm and one leg, swinged/swang/swung them back and forth for a bit, and then launched them onto the couch.

The kids LOVEd it.

Then he teamed up with one of the kids and launched another bean onto the couch via holding onto both hands and feet.

Hilarity ensues.

One Month to Go

2008-04-13T19:54:00.001-07:00

I’ve been praying for about three weeks now that the baby will come early. I don’t mean 6 weeks early (although, methought to myself, if that’s when it came, what could I do?) I mean ANY day before May 12th – May 11th, May 10th, today, whatever. And still people, when I make jokes about having the baby, say, tonight, shake their heads and say, “Oh no! You don’t want to have the baby THIS early.” I want to tell them to shut up then. I DO want to have the baby. That’s the fun part – to meet my cute new baby, and to NOT be pregnant anymore. Of course I’ll then have to take care of a newborn AND all my other kids AND have to heal up AND have to wake up every three hours to nurse AND stress about post-baby weight and on. But I won’t be pregnant. Right now that sounds like the best incentive to deliver this bun tonight.
Joel has said several times recently that he thinks my belly is bigger than it’s ever been with any of the other kids. Once, when I looked down and saw my awesome, blossoming chest, Joel looked over at me and said, “Your belly is so big!” Only, I was anticipating that his comment was going to be about my chest. It was a downer.
My emotions and feelings are conflicted during these times. I’m glad to see my belly getting tighter because I feel more justified in being and feeling enormous – they baby is taking up more space, but I also start to worry about where I’ll find more nasty stretch marks after the baby is out. I feel calmer about when the baby will come because at this point it feels like the end is in sight. But I’m also becoming more tired, less able, more encumbered and more desperate to not share my tummy any longer.
In my mind I like to imagine that all these contractions (painful and not) are much more frequent than in previous pregnancies, that my body just isn’t as able to carry this pregnancy through to a precedential full week past my due date. Sometimes, when I don’t have heartburn or a sore back and I’ve slept through the night without having to wake myself up and eat some lame snack or watch infomercials from 2:30 – 3:30 a.m. or read scriptures by flashlight because I can’t sleep I’ll think I’m handling this last trimester with an unmatched degree of sanity and elegance. Usually within an hour, though, I’m so pooped from strenuous activity (You know, like carrying Clara up the stairs or cooking dinner or folding laundry) my frustrations and self-pity mounts and I’m nearly in tears about how I can’t bear to make it to my due date.
I have had several blessings from Joel when in dire emotive states that leave me disappointed because I’m not blessed that the pregnancy will soon be over. No. I’m blessed that I’ll have strength to endure to the end of the pregnancy, to endure the same fatigue, discomfort, pain, sickness and FRUSTRATION that women throughout the world and throughout history have endured time and time again. And then I think about how hard things happen to us to prepare us for our future selves and our future experiences. And it kind of annoys me that it means that while this pregnant state is hard for me to endure, it’s not as hard as what’s coming my way from the future. I want to shout, “Dang it!” because I prefer to have fun, easy, relaxing days where everything goes my way.
Why is it so against my nature to become a better person? I hate getting back into shape after a baby because it is so much hard work. But I love how good it feels to BE in shape – to have the energy to run around with my kids and be active and energetic and willing. After hard life experiences I feel the same way – usually grateful for the hard experience because I’m subsequently stronger. But anticipating it, going into it and experiencing it I feel like I’m ducking my head the whole time, trying to avoid the full glare of the oncoming experiences, as if that’s going to make it go away. Sheesh.

One Was Johnny by Maurice Sendak

2008-04-11T13:35:00.000-07:00

Lincoln is practicing for a school storytelling festival. Here's the first time he did it completely from memory:

Swan Lake a la Beth and Joel

2008-04-02T15:43:00.001-07:00

The thing that geeks me out about this is that it's the EXACT routine Joel and I have been practicing for our ward talent show. I mean, we haven't lately because I'm 45 pounds overweight right now, but you can picture it, right?

P.S. I'm looking for cute ideas for my baby announcement. Any ideas? Here's a picture of what I done for Clara, which was pretty crafty for me. Link me to wherever I'll get great ideas. Thanks, friends.

2008-03-26T09:03:00.001-07:00

I heard you were fat, so I found a resource I think can really help you.

Trip to Zion National Park

2008-03-25T14:05:00.000-07:00

Earlier this month we took a trip to Zion National Park. We were headed down to Las Vegas for the weekend anyway to see Joel's cousin Liz give her farewell missionary talk, so we left a day early and had some family time together. We had so much fun! Joel had Friday off, so as soon as I was done with work we packed a lunch and drove down. We stopped at a gas station at Cove Fort for lunch (that's a shout-out to my bro-in-law, Dan!) and the whole place was CHARRED from the fires last summer. We should have taken it as a bad omen, because unfortunately Joel had a great idea for the kids to race among the construction barrels and loose gravel and Lincoln got a HUGE chunk ripped right out of his knee when he fell. Needless to say, that little blunder disqualified Lincoln from the competition.
We arrived at Zion in the afternoon and readied ourselves for some sweet hiking.Our first was up to the three Emerald Pools. It was fun and I was able to keep up only because Joel had Clara in the backpack and the boys are still kids.

This was my favorite of our hikes. We enjoyed breezy weather, cool destinations and the kids were all in the best spirits.
Interestingly we saw a polygamist family on the trail - one man, three wives and about twenty kids, all in pioneer get-up. One of the wives, when she saw our gang, remarked, "You guys are almost as ambitious as we are!" My question about them is: Who decides what they can and can't wear? The girls all wore hoodie sweatshirt jackets over their long dresses and open-toe sandals. Why is it that they can buy sandals but not sneakers?
Hey, we got some family pictures taken, thanks to several volunteer photographers on the trail! And, look, we even saw real deer!

For dinner we found a Thai restaurant (Joel's and my gastronomic weakness) that was pricey but the curry was awesome!
Back at the hotel we played in the pool for about two hours: Joel and I would stand in the pool while Lincoln, Asher and Clara would jump into our arms over and over and over again. Then we enjoyed the luxury of a heart-shaped tub in our room! Somehow the romance of it all was lost on Joel and I, and I think it was mainly due to the three kids that bathed in there with us.
Saturday morning we ate at the hotel's surprisingly good continental breakfast and then headed back to the park for more hiking! Our first hike for the day was Canyon Overlook, which was easy and fun and really beautiful. Normally Asher could care less about whether the camera is pointed at him or not, but on this trip over and over he would turn around and call out for me to take his picture.
It was the perfect time of year to go: the weather was so mild and we didn't have to fight swarms of people in the parking lots or on the trails. It was really relaxing and enjoyable.We had plans to hike Pa'rus Trail, but our kids were pooped and after Lincoln had a breakdown of sorts, we regrouped and hiked to Weeping Rock, instead. After that we passed our park pass onto my little sister and her husband, who had also just driven down for the weekend, and we headed to Vegas to spend time with Joel's family. What a fun trip! I love doing things with our kids. It is so satisfying to me!

But, I was also pooped! It took a couple of days after we got home before I felt recovered from the lack of sleep and extra exertion. Viva la Zion!

I can't wait for our next family trip!

This Video Reminds Me of Someone

2008-03-14T09:09:00.000-07:00

Here is a video I really enjoyed watching.

About twenty seconds into viewing these sweet jedi moves an uncomfortable feeling crept over me. And I realized I was watching my oldest son, 10 years in the future. I mean, I hope it's not, but it may be.

Recently we let our kids watch Star Wars and now they pretend Star Wars all the time. It never stops. They sleep with their light sabers, wear capes all day, and even bring Clara into the mix by giving her a weapon and crowning her Princess Leia. (She's pretty good at killing her brothers.) Out on the front lawn they layer camping cots and snow tubes on top of each other for their base camp. In their room they don all their Jedi accessories, real or improvised and become Luke, Darth, Obi Wan, or Quaigon. They sleep with their weapons (as all good Jedi do) and spend a lot of time on the trampoline sequencing fighting moves and simulating training sessions. And while Asher feels content to stick to established Star Wars characters - Luke, Yoda, and on, Lincoln can only refer to his Jedi alter ego as "Force of the Green."

That's powerful.
As parents we mostly just enjoy the show, but at times I wonder how long and far their pretending should go on. At what point (12, 14 years old?) do I say "Please DON'T post your Jedi moves on YouTube"?I mean, the other night after a heartfelt discussion about spirits Asher announced he was the bad Emporer from the Return of the Jedi. And it kind of spooked Joel out what with Asher forming his hands into claws and hissing, like he was killing Luke with his lightning powers right there.

Star Wars is the newest incarnation of fighting warriors around here.

Before Star Wars we beheld the terrors of Cap'n Jack Sparrow and his band of pirates.

Last summer we witnessed the daring adventures of every superhero known!

A year ago we could only watch in awe as Luchadore's frequented our house, entertaining us with killer wrestling moves, eagle powers, and amazing skills in the ring.

And before that underpants warriors, who remained unnamed, lurked in the shadows of our humble home, fighting who knows who or what.

Amazing, huh? We love all the heroic dramatics. We're mostly content to allow these theatrics to continue until they've outgrown them. However, if you EVER see one of them displaying these antics when they're WAY past the "cute" stage, please, help me and help them by simply removing the light sabre from their hands and walking away.

P.S. I realize Clara is shirtless in the video, but she takes after her Aunt Megan in her love of tube tops. I only wish this were a video of Clara mowing the lawn.

I'm in Love...with Improv Comedy, that is!

2008-02-27T13:39:00.000-08:00

I met this guy last night.

(I've read his blog a couple of times and he has some funny posts, my favorite one here.)

I had a girl's night out with me sisters and mom and went to see Thrillionaires at the new Covey Arts Center.

The tickets were $10 each (a bit pricey, I thought) but it was a quality show. It was an improvisational comedy show where they take suggestions from the audience to build their story around. For the first 45 minutes they acted out a play about a husband and wife having marriage problems. The husband is a garbage collector (my suggestion) who built their house and provides all their furnishings via his job. The wife is someone who pretends to be sick to get attention (also my suggestion - remember our conversations, Marilyn) Another character works at a bank while trying to hide his obsession with his roller skate collection (my suggestion, again) and his co-worker was a compulsive liar. It was great!

The second half of the show (another 45 min) they acted out another play, this time a musical, all according to audience suggestions and the music provided by Mr. Strong Man (above). The story line included an inventor who wants a robot girlfriend, a human girl who can hear with her eyes who also is on a love rebound and a technology company trying to get new techy technology.

It was a really intimate, casual show with great story lines, impromptu! It was way better than seeing a movie and a change of pace from Joel and my usual dinner date.

Go see them! It was awesome!

It was so much fun! Joel and I are planning a future date there. It was great! I highly recommend it to anyone planning a special date or a fun night out.

Marilyn & Sam: A Tribute Album

2008-02-23T14:17:00.000-08:00

Marilyn and I have been friends since them awkward days down to the PHS running Cross Country together. At first all I thought was she was this girl with the name of a grandma who wore those coffee-talk style glasses where the stems (what goes behind your ears) connected to the MIDDLE/BOTTOM of her lenses (I can't remember, exactly)

But then I realized she was really cool! She was really funny and we spent a lot of time together in high school hanging out.

I've always marveled at the surprising similarities and extreme differences between us. Like, both of our dads are disabled in some way (her with the effects of polio, mine with what he just can't see) but my dad is a mechanic while her dad is a physics professor. She's the only girl in her family and her brothers were nice to her, while I've got loads of sisters and only remember the brutal torture I endured at the hands of my brothers.

She's the greatest girl - awesome cook, accomplished and gifted writer, Hinckley Scholar, concert pianist, book worm, natural birth wonder, devout runner, and really fun. Mostly, I'm just happy that we share a friendship. Happy that we exchange emails full of with sarcasm, nerdy quips, and general communion and understanding of each other. I feel grateful to be able to enjoy her awesome personality and to mooch off her good baking.

I have low expectations for friendships. It's a stupid marvel to me when I realize that someone enjoyed my company. But I feel lucky to have Marilyn for a friend. I look up to her a lot. And whenever I've felt I've helped her in some way or whenever we've had a great time together, it has brought me unmeasured satisfaction and feelings of self-worth. (I have self-esteem issues in being "friends" with people, feeling like I never quite learned how to do it) Still to this day, I'll find myself saying in my mind "Why is she friends with ME?"

When she married Sam I was a little disappointed. Not because Sam was sub-par in any way, but because it meant I'd have to give up my dreams of being able to say that my good friend Marilyn was a Rhodes Scholar studying at Oxford. (Here's a picture of the Radcliffe Camera, Oxford. Marilyn and I did a research paper on the dude who did something to make this camera come to be - ah, my memory serves me so well! Poor Marilyn! I don't know how she endured my 3rd grade reading and writing skills, or how she could belly up to the sub-100% we got on the paper! Sorry!)But, I'm mostly over that now. Luckily, Sam is as cool as Marilyn. He encourages Marilyn's quirks in their activities together, and they're super-fun to hang out with. What I guess I never appreciated about Sam was that he's an artist. Like, a real artist. I don't know what I THOUGHT he was before, but I wasn't expecting this quality!

I've been working on this little Christmas painting for about three months now and I HONESTLY started thinking there wasn't much to this art stuff. Then I woke up to Sam's art. He's works for Disney developing concept art for video games or something arty/techy like that. (you lika my jargon-speak?) When I started going through his blog, it BLEW ME AWAY! Wow, Sam! You are absolutely amazing! Let's highlight some of your posts here:

(This is a painting of their new baby, Malachi)

Sweet, huh? So, pretty much their a power couple in several ways (art ways, music ways, English-writing ways, baking ways, etc.). I didn't know Sam was as talented as Marilyn (albeit in different ways), I just knew I liked them together. Now ya'll know it, too.

The best was, the last time we hung out with them, afterwards Joel was talking to me about how impressive they each, and together, are, and he said, "It makes me think, 'Why are they friends with US?'"

No kidding.

Compassion-Less Service Leader

2008-02-23T13:25:00.000-08:00

Foremost in my mind today is what I did this morning for "service" and the problems I've always had with rendering "service."
Here's the schpeal: I'm generally selfish, judgmental and lacking in compassion. It's just part of my personality. I feel a little justified because it's a common personality thread among my siblings and I. Occasionally, I'll have this charitable buzz about me where I'm excited to lend an ear, hand, or plate of brownies to someone. This is usually ONLY when I really like the person.
My compassion-less attitude wouldn't be such a terrible thing, except that I'm the Compassionate Service Leader in the ward. Theoretically I lead/support/provide opportunities for the ward to render only the compassion-est of service. I often joke that I have the calling not because I'm compassionate, but because that's what I need to LEARN about.
But seriously, and here's where I could use your advice: I can count off several experiences since being a Leader where I gave of my time, talents, money or food when internally I was really ticked off about it.
Sometimes I feel mad/frustrated because I think the person is using the ward undeservedly. I have internal anxiety about these instances because I know I should love the other person, that I'M the one that has the problem of selfish pride, whatever their motivations are. I mean, Pres. Monson said the greatest joy can only be achieved through serving others (not a direct quote).
This morning I signed up to "help" somebody at their house for a couple of hours. I don't know if the lady didn't really want the help and we all just didn't know it, but it was rough. In the end my overbearing, opinionated self offended her sensibilities and I got yelled at a couple of times (really) and her house is in basically the same state as it was before, despite 6 volunteers and hours of time spent there.
I came home crying afterwards because I'm so hormonal and because I'm upset by my uncompassionate-ness. My frustrations just kept mounting as we were "working" all while nothing was getting done.
Why couldn't I just love the person? Why do I have to be such a jerk in my head about these situations? I know there's something I need to learn from this. I've had several of these experiences, so I know there's a lesson I need to learn.
I'm NOT looking for ya'll to comment how compassionate I am. Just because I'm nice to people who are cute, funny, engaging, well-dressed, admirable and/or clever doesn't make me compassionate.
I'm not looking for patronage. I'm looking for advice. What am I supposed to learn? How can I overcome this ugly beast in my psyche? I don't want to be a jerk (in my head and otherwise) anymore!

What d’you name your baby Chance for?

2008-02-14T12:05:00.000-08:00

You know what I forgot to include in my post about baby names? A story from when I was pregnant with Asher.
I was down to the Family Dollar with my then-only child Lincoln in the cart. In walks a woman that I guessed was in some way not “normal” with her care-taker. She walked over to me, and in the highest, most cartoonish voice said, “What d’you name your baby Chance for?!” I said, smiling, “His name is Lincoln.” Again she said, “What kind of a name is Chance? What d’you name your baby Chance for?” Her caretaker said then said to her, “Her baby isn’t named Chance. YOUR grandbaby is named Chance.” It was really awesome. To this day, that phrase rings through my brain at least once a month, whether I hear somebody say the name Chance or whatever. “What d’you name you baby Chance for?”

Cool, huh?

Happy Valentine's Day!

2008-02-14T11:16:00.000-08:00

Love is In the Air!

I wish I had digital files of pictures from when we were dating. It would make this post much more entertaining. Anyway, here's a little more than you ever wanted to know about Joel's and my courtship:

1. Where did you meet?

Who knows? We went to the same elementary, junior high and high school. He was a snobby A-tracker and I was a regular, salt-of-the-earth, blue-collar C-tracker. Needless to say, our paths didn’t readily cross. The first time we noticed each other was in our senior year of high school on Halloween night 1996, at the seminary council party at Warren Robison’s house.

2. What was the first thought that went through your head when you met?

I thought he was really cute.

3. Do you remember what he was wearing?

He was dressed as Indiana Jones. We lovingly refer to him as IJLC, which is his favorite movie (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade) – for many years this movie contained the only lines he could quote from a movie and the only actors he knew by name (Harrison Ford and Sean Connery). Thanks to Nacho Libre, his pop culture knowledge has nearly doubled in the last two years. It is the Beyst.

4. Where was the first time you kissed this person?

After a double date with Ammon and my friend Amy, we dropped Amy off at her house. Ammon and Joel drove me home to my sister’s house and Ammon waited in Grandpa Rass’s Lincoln for an HOUR while Joel and I had a heart-to-heart that finally ended in a kiss. (Honestly, we owe just about everything to Ammon for helping to get us together, to keep us together after Joel's mission, and to prod us toward marriage)

5. How did he/she ask you out?

He called me on the phone.

6. Where did you go for your first date?
We went to the dollar movies and watched ‘That Thing You Do’ with a bunch of his friends. I remember thinking that even though he was in the seat next to me, he was absolutely as far away from me as he could possibly be without sitting in the laps of the people on the other side of him…he was a little shy.

7.How long did you know this person before you became a couple?

We met in October 1996, but didn’t become a couple until May 1997.

8. Has this person ever proposed to you?

We done it. On May 24, 2000 down to the Provo Temple after we’d gotten in our first fight.

9. Do you and this person have kids together?

We have too many for me to adequately cope with, honestly. Each time I get pregnant I think I was so STUPID to think I could handle it!

10. Have you ever broken the law with this person?
Never. However, I have broken the law several times without him.

11. When was the first time you realized that you liked this person?

The first day I met him.

12. Do you get along with any of the ex's of your partner?
Ha ha! He has NO ex’s. Bless him. I married the most honest, innocent, moral person that has ever lived. Now you can feel sorry for him that he married me!

13. What’s the most expensive thing this person has given you?

You might think it would be my wedding ring, but it’s actually my digital camera.

14. What is one thing he/she does that gets on your nerves?

He doesn’t usually clean up after himself if he makes food for himself and the kids.

15. What is the thing you do that gets on his/her nerves?

I’m so high strung. He tires of my impatience.

16. Where do you see each other in 15 years from now?
If I haven’t gone on a real vacation alone with him by then (something that includes an airplane, the hot sun and a swimming pool for us to relax by) it will probably be because my kids have pushed me over the edge and I’ve been committed to the state mental hospital…clue in on that, Joel.

So, you know how when you read about the pure love of Christ in the scriptures and it says you have to be long-suffering, patient, kind, doing good to all men, etc. That’s Joel. He puts up with so much in me. When I’m pregnant, I cry everyday. I’m always exhausted and hormonal, and Joel gets the brunt of it, usually, right before bed. But he loves me, anyway, and has really helped me overcome a lot of my ‘issues’ in the last 7 ½ years. He’s the perfect match for me and just about everyday I can’t believe how well we get along together, how much peace is in our home, and how good looking he still is. Plus, he just emailed me and asked me if I would join him in his quarters this night for a toast (of sparkling cider, that is). I'm pretty sure I'm going to, even if it makes me look like a floosy.

What Will We Name the Baby?

2008-01-29T15:04:00.000-08:00

So I honestly haven't given much thought as to what to name the baby what I'm carrying. Like some people I know, I don't really like to talk to people about what I'm going to name the baby because

1. I change my mind about it at least once a month and

2. I get sick of seeing people's disappointment in my choices.

With every kid I have heard the reasons why I SHOULDN'T name the baby whatever I've chosen.

Lincoln - "They'll call him Stinkin' Lincoln." - They/we do...honestly, sometimes he DOES stink, so...

Asher - "It sounds too much like Ashley." - But, I like the name Ashley.

"Kids might call him Asser." - They do/have. Our cousin, Taylor, who really is the sweetest, nicest kid, has had a bit of a speech problem in the past, i.e. car door was pronounced by him coy doy, etc. A year ago when he was visiting during Christmastime Joel came home from playing games with his family with the most incredulous look on his face. "Asher told me that Taylor called him Asso!" I just looked at Joel and said, "Joel, Taylor can't say Asher's name! He was just saying Asher's name." Joel: "Oh." The next day Taylor was sitting on a stool at his grandma's house and in the sweetest way patted the stool next to him and said, "Hey, Assy, come sit by me."

Clara - "Isn't that the name of a cow? Clarabelle?" - Yeah, a cow from a Disney cartoon that no one has seen since 1986.

For this baby several name incarnations have already been shot down. Ginger sounded too much like a stripper (okay, I'm the one that decided that). Lola was the same. And "Fiona will remind everyone of Shrek."

I mean, I get it, okay? When my friend Marilyn named her baby Sebastian I was like, "But, that's the name of the crab from the Little Mermaid!" Yeah, EVERY name is going to conjure SOME bad connotation for SOMEBODY! As a Special Ed teacher I have my own list of names that remind me of the "special" kids I used to teach and the "special" reasons why I could never name MY kids the like.

There's Rayden who would shout out to me in the hallways, in class, wherever I saw him, "5 star boxes, teacher!? 5 star boxes!?" Yes, Rayden, you can color in 5 star boxes.

There's Kayden who, although he couldn't read more than three words anticipated the Wheel of Fortune Extravaganza in my class and said, "What's that say, teacher? The Wheel of Fortune Estrasasanda?" (That's where the name of this blog comes from)

There's Michael, an autistic boy who perseverated on clocks, who surprised me one day by opening the elastic waistband on his pants, reached down into his big boys, pulled out his wristwatch, slid it onto his wrist, and licked the face of the watch.

And there's Paige, who incessantly pooed her pants in first grade and would CONSTANTLY yell "Boo!" to me while making starburst motions with her hands as I was trying to teach.

Okay, actually I am forever endeared to my special ed kids and I miss teaching SO MUCH! So, I guess those names aren't out of the running, per se.

I am just as opinionated as the next person about baby names. I don't want any name that's too popular. Joel keeps saying he wants to name it Emily, but I refuse simply based on the fact that it's at the top of the baby name lists these days.

Also, I don't like odd ways of spelling names. Why do we have to spell Makayla 12 different ways? My friend Elicia has a devil of a time with her name. She told me someone once called her El-lick-ia. Her maiden name is Timpson, and she also said someone once called her Elicit Tampon. That one's my favorite. I keep thinking about someone really saying it assuming it really was her name and it makes me laugh every time. If you see me chuckling to myself like Toodles from Peter Pan, I'm probably just thinking about my good friend, Elicit Tampon.

My point about baby names is no matter how crappy the name you chose for your baby is; no matter how stupid and odd it sounds; no matter how many druggie-celebrities are named the same; everyone will come to like it or not based on your baby's personality. So, in the end, as long as your baby is incredibly cute and sweet and amazing, people's opinion of that name will change to reflect that. Hooray!

As stated before, my list of name possibilities has changed over and over again. Previously on the list:

Girl Names:

Willow

Jude

Emma Grace

Lauren

Kaiya

Lindy

Boy Names:

Forrest - I don't care that there's a movie called Forrest Gump!!!!!!

A favorite game we've played with the last two pregnancies is coming up with the most "interesting" names we can think of. When Clara was still cooking we came up with a couple of winners:

Fritzi Special - after the great Spanish Fork clothing outlet

Ricey, Beefy - names Asher and Lincoln came up with

Posey - after the lady we bought the house from

This pregnancy has garnered a few additions to the list, but I would appreciate your help in coming up with better, more interesting options.

Tiara Beige - doesn't it sound awesome?

Hail Mary - I swam with a girl in high school who's name was Damaris and I could never figure out if her name was Dam-aris or Da-mare-is. The only way I finally learned was when a friend said, "It's so when her mom's mad she can just say, Damn Aris!" If we name this one Hail Mary we could just say all the time, "Aw, Hell, Mary!" and it kind of wouldn't be swearing.

Cysty - I have an ovarian cyst that's currently taking up considerable room in the womb (although, it's perfectly harmless, they tell me). We talk about it like it's the baby's twin.

Rainbow, Sunshine - Actually, if I thought I could get away with it I would name a baby Sunny or Sunshine because I knew someone really awesome and inspiring named that.

So, does anybody have any good submissions to add?

This list seems so incomplete. Please! Help!

P.S. Here's video of Clara, it's indulgent, but she's really cute.

Scrappin' it Up!

2008-01-06T11:53:00.000-08:00

Look at me scrappin' it up! I am so sick of doing crappy scrapbook pages by hand. It takes me forever - about an hour each page - and they still look like a 13 year-old did it.
I bought a CD of scrapbook files from the craft store but then discovered CUTER, free stuff on the Internet (http://www.shabbyprincess.com/) It took me a while to figure out how to do it - what program to use, how to download (and unzip) the files, what format to save it in, etc. But now one page takes me about 15 minutes and they are slightly cuter than my handmade versions.
Hooray! I'm so glad to be saved from the tortures of real scrapbooking (I was never a REAL scrapbooker, so real scrapbookers: please do not be offended. I honor your creative expression just as I honor mimes or jazz dancers/flag twirlers (in parades) for their creative expression)
Does anyone need a tutorial? I would love to show you how it's done. And I'll take anyone's advice, tips, tricks, etc. on how to do it better. (Except from Tia, because her version of scrapbooking always includes sandpaper, which seems very wrong, and because it's has to be 2nd-gen stamping, when I never even mastered 1st-gen stamping! "Close to ma Heart!")

So, here's the first page what I done. We went on a trip to Vernal this fall because Joel had to oversee a dam. We stayed in the NASTIEST motel (the Sage Inn) on the only street in Vernal that anyone could classify as the bad part of town, but our kids kept saying, "Wow! This is the nicest hotel ever!" ...we don't get out much. We took the town by storm! - Visited the dam site for a few hours, went to Pizza Hut for dinner (DINE-IN!!!! _and_ we ordered sodas)

we went to D.I. (my favorite part of the trip, and I kept thinking the whole time how proud Dan would be to know that we went there) visited the dinosaur museum (pictured below), a city park and we spent considerable time at a wildlife refuge. It was such a fun trip, although I had to have lots of rests on account a my compromised condition (prego).

Here's our Halloween page (cute paper, for sure!) Lincoln was a pirate, Asher was a vampire, and Clara was Dorothy from the wizard of Oz. Joel and I were what we are every year, it seems, disco people/skaters/dates, or something. At our ward Halloween party we scored the prize for the cutest date (or something like that). I'm pretty sure that while they gave awards to anyone who dressed up, we came home with top honors. Also of note, I wore my rollerskates because they are lime green and white and so are my white polyester pants with green stars down the leg. I was skatin' it up like ya'll know I know how to do and someone asked me if I had ever been in a skate club, like at a roller rink. I took the question as a observant compliment to my abilities.

And here's Christmas. Lincoln and Asher both got what they asked Santa for. Lincoln got pirate dress-ups and Asher got a flashlight. But the Geo Trax which also came Christmas morning took up the bulk of our attention through the holidays.

After we opened presents Joel got out his motorcycle and pulled the kids on tubes on the fresh snow. He said it made his Christmas. It was fun family activity. Whenever I was on the tube with Clara she'd be totally silent the whole time unless I said 'woo hoo' and then she'd echo the sentiment. I kept asking her if she was having fun, and in her lowest, most bored voice she'd say, "uh-huh."

P.S. We had our ultrasound and found out we're having a girl. We're excited and happy that the baby is looking much cuter than most fetuses.

Here I Go Again

2007-12-26T06:55:00.000-08:00

I feel so awkward with this blog, but I think I need to just post so I can get the hang of it. Here are the few pictures salvaged from our unfortunate event last month: our harddrive crashed and we lost everything. But really all we cared about was the last two years' worth of pictures and videos. Now we know we need to back-up EVERYTHING!
These next four pictures are of Clara when we went to the temple on a Sunday in September or October. I can't get over how cute she is!

These three pictures were taken in either August or September at Nielson's Grove Park in Orem. They have the best wading pools that they treat with chlorine so it's safe for little kids to splash around in. I had about thirty pictures that were so beautiful. Alas, they are gone and I can only describe to you that the lighting was magnificent, the aperture perfectly on-target, and the photographer (me) was in her best form as she snapped memory after exquisitely captured memory.

These two photos were taken by my neighbor and photographer extraordinaire Julie Magleby. Now that I know how busy she is, I can't believe she had time to spend a whole afternoon with us. She's awesome. I wish I could get to know her better. These are clear back from December 2006, but they represent the most recent photos of us.

We had the best Christmas yesterday. I loved it. We played with our toys all day and visited family and were excited to hear that Becca finally had her baby. Bless her! Joel got a laptop (ask him about it - it's sweet) and I get to go on an overnighter with NO KIDS on Friday while Megan does the dirty work for us (babysits our kids). Awesome.

Depression

2007-10-31T13:41:00.000-07:00

Here's the much anticipated first post for my lame, lame, LAME blog. I'm sure it's nothing like anyone's expecting it to be, because I'm going to address a serious issue: depression.
I'm speaking from the perspective of having been on depression medication twice, and having had clinical depression on and off since I was about eight or nine years old. Sad, huh? But I don't have depression now, so be happy for me. :)
I just wanted to speak to the reality of depression in so many people's lives, how it's this stupid, controlling aspect of my life at times that is multi-faceted and insidious and I hate it. I'm just going to write about what I've experienced and hope that it can help somebody, especially the people that I love and am close to.

When I Was A Kid
So, even when I was a kid I think I had depression and for sure I had it as a teenager and throughout college and definitely post-partum (which seems the most unfair to me) and even not-post-partum.
I talked to a doctor about other health problems as a teenager and he diagnosed me with depression and wanted to put me on medication for it. I practically ran out of his office because I was so scared of the idea of having depression and even more scared of being on medication. In my mind, people who went on depression medication were crazy, and I couldn't allow myself to think I was crazy. And I also thought medication was a wuss's way out. Like, if you went on depression medication it was further evidence of what a failure you were. So, I just continued to deal with my depression poorly, with plenty of low self-esteem and A LOT of unhappy days.
I recall one time having an interview with my bishop as a teenager and unrelatedly he said, "You're allowing Satan to tell you things in your mind about yourself which are untrue. You need to recognize that it is Satan telling you you are stupid or ugly or incompetent or lazy and don't allow him to tell you anymore." That was really helpful advice because I believed in his counsel and began to recognize more often what were my own thoughts and which thoughts were temptations from the devil to put myself down. Honestly I'd allowed myself so many pity parties up until then lamenting on how stupid, ugly, fat and more stupid I was that these cognitive episodes had come to have their own negative reinforcement.
I was also so surprised when I received my patriarchal blessing wherein it says that I am gifted to have a happy attitude, because at the time (16 years old) I was so grumpy ALL the time, especially to my family. It's good to have revelation like that which hasn't come to pass. It helped me to have hope in my future self and to be patient through my present experiences.

As An Adult
So, I've had post-partum depression and not-post-partum depression since I've been married. The not-post-partum depression got the worst just before I got pregnant with Clara. I was training for the Provo River Trail 1/2 Marathon and really loving it, but other than the hour a day I spent running, I was grouchy and mad all day. And most of my anger was directed at Joel, although there wasn't anything I could tell you that Joel had done to make me mad. After this went on for a couple of weeks, Joel and I finally talked it out and we decided together that I should talk to a doctor about medication. So, I went to my regular doctor and as soon as I opened my mouth to talk to him about it I started crying uncontrollably and it took me a couple minutes to even speak. I just felt like such a failure for admitting that I had this problem that had gotten so far outside my ability to handle it that I was there, blubbering, losing all my self-respect in the process. But I knew it was something I needed to do for myself and my family. My doctor was awesome and incredibly compassionate. He said most of his patients that talk to him about depression cry like I had. He also said that he had taken depression medication for many years and it didn't make him a different person, it didn't make him dependent on the drug, but it did help him to treat his family with more respect and to not feel as uptight, mad, or upset about his daily stresses. So, I can't even remember what he prescribed, but it was a common drug in a low dose (maybe Celebrex?) and I took it, despite my fears. I noticed a difference the first day I took it. I had run 10 miles that morning so my legs were killing me by the afternoon. I went with Joel to the hardware store which is always a bad idea if you plan on him making a decision about buying anything within a 3 hour time period. Normally when I go to the store with him, I'm good for about 30-40 minutes and then I'm ready to pick out the first freakin' tool I see and say 'that's good enough'. But that day I just felt fine about letting him take his time. He noticed and I noticed that I wasn't ticked off even after an hour and a half and I realized that the medication was a good thing.
I took the medication for a month and in that month I learned what aspects of my depression the medication could control and what aspects it couldn't control. It was like a good intermediary between me and my depression, as if it negotiated some things for me to work on personally while taking care of other things in the meantime.
After a month I felt like I had learned how to control my depression through taking care of myself (with lots of rest), expressing ALL my feelings to Joel, even the ones I assumed would tick him off (they never did), and accepting how great I really had it even though I had such an imperfect life. The whole experience with the medication was so much more of a learning experience than I could have imagined, and since then I haven't had depression other than the subsequent post-partum depression after having Clara.
Post-Partum
My post-partum depression has gotten more severe with each child. I just suffered through it with Lincoln and Asher, but after I had Clara I had to call my midwife and tell her I needed help. It's so embarrassing to allow somebody (even some anonymous nurse over the phone) to know that you are in such a dark place from which you feel you'll never emerge that you can no longer handle your current responsibilities without help. She called me in a prescription for Zoloft, which I hadn' taken before, and when I took it I didn't feel like it helped at all.
In the end I needed much more rest than I was getting, time for my body to heal and a lot of love and support and patience from Joel. And I needed to figure out what my relationship with my Savior was. I'm not saying everytime I've had depression I've been a slacker on my scriptures, prayer and temple attendance, but I do know that my depression is linked in some measure with how close to the Spirit I am.
Now
When I don't have depression, I can't tell you really what the causes for it are. I know it has to do with personal pride and not wanting to accept my current circumstances as what will make me happy or fulfilled. Also, I know it has to do with me dealing with some experience or interaction like an adult or like a child. If I'm a brat about something to someone and I know I was wrong about it, if I don't face up to it with the other person it will lead to depressive thoughts or behaviors. And when I treat myself and others like an adult, my depressive thoughts or behaviors dissipate, EVEN when I'm mad that I had to admit how stupidly I acted.
It has to do with whether my body is overtaxed or overstressed (I think I should be able to handle something simple, like going running in the morning 3 days a week or going to a job for an hour a day. But in the end it doesn't matter what I THINK I should be able to handle. If it's too much for me I just need to eat it and do what I know inside is best for me and my family. So, at times that's embarrassing, because I've had to admit to someone that I can't handle some simple task that most people would think I could fit in easily.) and that it has to do with my relationship with Joel. (poor Joel! He puts up a lot with me sometimes) Like, if I feel distant from Joel in some way, it'll tick me off and I'll spend days formulating all these irrational reasons why he's not "there" for me when I need him. In reality if Joel thinks I'm mad at him, he'll give me my space because he doesn't want to tick me off even more.
And when I have depression, I can't tell you what could possibly change about my life that would make me feel better. It seems like nothing, not tons of money or a vacation or new clothes or a special date with Joel or yummy food or a girls night out could ever change how crappy I feel in that moment.
Tye
So, that's it. But I did want to say that the only reason I ever dared to go on depression medication was because of a friend sharing her experience with me. Tye (Guymon) Reeder, who is the most mentally whole person I know, talked to me once about her seasonal depression. Just knowing what a great person she is, hearing her experience and how she had the courage to talk to her doctor about it helped me a lot in acknowledging my own depression and validating my reasons for seeking my own help. So thanks, Tye. You sharing your experience ended up being a life-changing event for me. I'm sharing my experience hoping that it can benefit somebody else.

Hello, my friends, hello

2007-09-09T12:27:00.000-07:00